Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I phoned one of the IT guys upstairs for help with my PC. He said it would only take a few minutes; and would just fix it through a direct connection from his computer to mine. Hours later, I was feeling horny, and quickly checked out an adult website. Mr IT Guy was still connected. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML
Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML
Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
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Top comments
Too2 11
Turned that software into hardware eh?
iAmPaul 49
Learn to control yourself man.
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Comments (60)
rhiley 26
as a trans man I'm glad I don't have to go through unwanted boners in public
UserError94 18
You wot m8?
False_Stupidity 42
Sorry to be THAT guy, but I think this FML is missing a word... Should it not read "when she wrote it down" instead of "when wrote it down"
ulissey_fml 22
Surprised that no-one suggested you can make some friends here. Tell you what , when you feel you have had enough being lonely, there are people everywhere who feel that way too and will welcome you in their chat groups or forums online or in real life (meet up groups or clubs or sport activities...) Just try : sooner or later, it works . Man is a friendly animal, most of the time , if approached with friendly intentions and good will. And when you are happier, you will get more attractive to others.
Dale_shackleford 13
Tbh, a lot of the people you meet at places designed to meet people aren't the kind of people most would want as close friends. And online friends usually don't turn into real friends.
Richymoni7972 5
Where can OP find a group for the sexually frustrated and innapropriate wood?
gracehi 33
I hope you were standing behind a counter.
sighlifeman 12
control yourself man
mfmylifesrsly 30
way to copy #2
sighlifeman 12
didnt read the comments before commenting oh im sorry i have a mind of my own too -_-
vikky538 29
Sounds like a start of **** for me!
NYGiants1925 22
Dude... That's a bit much...
Nezah 6
You should probably go beat that off...
bamfoozled 10
That's sad
isaak_sanchez 18
A lack of ctrl I see