Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I'm moving to South Africa if this is how the criminals act. I'm tired of getting robbed by assholes who aren't even polite enough to apologize for stealing my shit.
smallsmerry 0
how does tripping over a cat kill it?
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Comments (149)
smallsmerry 0
how does tripping over a cat kill it?
redheadregect 0
well... imagine if the guy on bottom was the cat...
mountneer 0
I think the cat did it then faked his own death to cover it up.
an_villian 0
did you check the cat for bullet wounds?
RoboForm 3
Sorry to hear..,
Freeze_fml 17
Better than getting robbed by an asshole.
newzealand 28
"KNOCK, KNOCK" *Cat answers door* ROBBER (Steve) : "I'll be taking that thanks" *Picks up large flat screen* CAT (Dave) : "You're most welcome Steve" ROBBER (Steve) : "Chur!" *Stumbles to the door with the heavy load* CAT (Dave) : "Shit, look out for that step!" ROBBER (Steve) : "****!" *Falls forward with flat screen* CAT (Dave) : "FML"
skyttlz 32
my dads name is steve and we used to have a cat named dave
newzealand 28
That is ******* awesome!! Congrats on your dad having a choice name, and legend for calling a cat Dave
mrahhhhh 21
Well OP, you probably won't, but if you find the thief again, remember that flamethrowers are legal in South Africa with no restrictions :).
you_freak 7
No. Actually they're not.
mrahhhhh 21
Last time I trust Holy Taco to give me accurate information.
schalk 12
Actually they were for a while - flames belching from the sides of your car as an anti-hijacking device. We have roadsigns here that warn you when you're in a hijacking hotspot.
Cigar 11
I've tripped over my cat tons of times without killing her. Track that piece of shit down and trip over HIM.
yourmurderscenex 13
oh man, so scary. "yo man you tripped over my cat?! how would you like it if i tripped over you!" *trips over robber* "YEAH! i bet you will think twice after robbing me again!" *limps away* ... i dont see how that would work. but okay, whatever tickles your fancy.
Kua_Mei 0
I don't think I would trip on him if I managed to track him down. I would probably just repeatedly stomp on his genitals. Oh, and, like, call the police, or something. That, too.
pinkpirate1 0
I think #23 means kill by "tripping" over. Track him down and "trip" over HIM. yep..
APurpleWaffle 0
@ #78. Yep, because only men can be thieves. oh.. whats that? my neighbor was robbed by a pair of women on a crime spree last month? oh. Guess I was wrong abut men being the only thieves.
AthinaMarie 0
yea dead cat or not.. give him credit for being polite.
mintcar 10
I am so sorry. I wonder what he stole...
koolkat27 13
an innocent cats life.
thisgirl2u 9
Soo sad :( FYL OP I'm not even a cat person but I couldn't imagine...
phone3 0
He must of been fat if he killed a cat by triping over him
mintcar 10
must'VE*