Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, my dog died. I spent ages digging him a grave and buried him in the garden so that my dad wouldn't have to deal with the stress when he got home from work. When my dad got home he told me that he had wanted the dog to be cremated. I have just had to dig up my dog's body. FML
Today, I had to put my 17 year-old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML
Today, I was sent a letter by the vet, saying my cat was late for her yearly checkup. My cat died last week and I'd had her cremated by the same people who had sent the letter. FML
Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML
Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SoulAmeliorate 16
What a catastrophe.
slayertack 19
At least you still have your own cat, and didn't leave that one rotting in the sun.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
SoulAmeliorate 16
What a catastrophe.
Austin_Burkes 6
that was a catastrophic failure.
ButterPopcorn 14
Come on, #1, this is no time for puns, surely OP isn't feline so good after this incident.
glenzhao2 16
How kind of you.
kuffis 11
Hope that washing can remove dead cat smell from undies.
Damian95 16
You've cat to be kitten me right meow. These puns are anything but purfect.
piedpiper303 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You don't have to try so hard 67, you had it purrfect with the first pun you made. Right meow I'm sure every one else agrees with this wonpurrful comment towards you. :)
tjv3 10
Well on the bright side your cat is alive
Sekkaichi 12
At least you gave the cat a proper burial/grave. That's still a good deed. c:
WeemanIsBack 3
No wonder they say cats have nine lives..
HKCgrimmjow 15
Something similar happened to me... The initial reaction is OMG your alive!! Hugs and kisses, about 20 minutes later your like you jerk... I buried someone else's cat for no reason
crymore007 11
Can we paws the puns? OP's in a dilemma. OP, have you determined the claws of death yet?
HKCgrimmjow 15
^ that was purretty original from my standards, you deserve an apaws for that one
WhoopWhoop321 18
That is the lamest pun I have ever heard.
talkomatic713 13
Anyone else think it'd be ridiculously scary to bury your cat then just have it walk up to you?
Mary_go_Round 4
Bah-dum-cha
dramaelf 37
Did you happen to bury him in a place marked "Pet Sematary"?
Jemm_fml 29
*awaits the comments admonishing you for your "poor spelling"...*
grobinson 9
what? have you not seen the movie?
brinnablaine 22
Love that movie. The kid is SO creepy!
furbyface711 9
That's how the movie title is spelled, with an S.
MzZombicidal 36
I have a feeling that was the joke #20 was making...
Nordrag 26
People make jokes in comments? How bizarre.
FinJage 18
Really, a movie? You mean the novel?
Jemm_fml 29
I find it hilarious that no one noticed "poor spelling" was in quotes. It means I know the correct spelling for the NOVEL (not movie) is Pet Semetary. At least MZzombicidal (sp?) got the joke.
Jemm_fml 29
Wait is it really a movie too?? I feel so out of the loop. Must see!
Sinistra_Blue 12
Plot twist! He actually did bury his cat, but now its a zombie cat. Be careful OP, cuddly little kitty might try to eat you when you're sleeping.
peacheso 31
Lol! I watched it a couple of days ago. For the 100th time I believe. Love that movie.
SammyS2012 21
i thought 320 was referencing the FML where a person was verbally abused on facebook after writing about watching Pet Semetary and people thought he spelled it wrong...
grobinson 9
you'll enjoy it. the little boy performed his role very well.
grobinson 9
its also a movie. look it up. they did great with it.
battleroyalefan6 16
#20 That's how the book is spelled idiot
steve31789 8
This is one cat who slipped out of the bag
slayertack 19
At least you still have your own cat, and didn't leave that one rotting in the sun.
Caitie_kid 8
Yes, it's nice that you still gave it a loving burial.
eddeeezzyy 19
Yeah, you saved the road from one hell of a stench!
Pro_Nothing 9
Don't you know cats have nine lives? He reincarnated!
FlyingLeumer 19
I didn't know cats were Budhist 0_o
Nordrag 26
I thought it was Hindu that reincarnate and Buddhists just like become one with nature or something.
FlyingLeumer 19
I believe your referring to the Doa, both Hiindus and Buddhists believe in reincarnation.
tiernang 21
*dao
_DudeGuy_ 16
In the Buddhist religion, depending on how you live your life, you reincarnate into a different animal. The better the life, the better the animal. Once you live a perfect life, you're released from the chain and become one with a Buddhist god I can't remember.
waffle3z 6
respawned?
FlyingLeumer 19
And now we sit and watch numerous puns about cats being born. Please, try not to spill the popcorn.
NoDontKillMe 19
Born? Why would puns be about a newborn cat?
FlyingLeumer 19
I meant cattlecorn, but oh well.
jrod9327 17
Imma glass half full type of guy so you possibly saved a parent from the "cat ran away" lie
graceinsheepwear 34
How? Someone's cat still is missing. There's no body to be found now. No closure for the other pet owner.
jrod9327 17
Thats the point. No parent likes to tell their kids that a pet died.
Rue22 16
At least your cats alive. I just got a kitten and I'd be heartbroken if he died. :(
AmyPond17 33
Same here! I got her four weeks ago. :)
mrsdiaz 8
Well it was still nice of you to bury the dead cat. And now you get to call your family and tell them that your cat really isn't dead.
vanillapudding94 6
for all you know it could've been a stray. you might've actually done a good deed.
hawkislayer 2
Skid marks? Who brakes for cats?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#52.... Dick. Although maybe I'm just sensitive because my 2-year-old adorable tabby baby was killed by a car :/
MzZombicidal 36
#52, Um... that would be people who actually care if they hurt or kill another living thing.
VeganVampyre 27
No, I'm with you, 56. I recently found a dead cat on the road in my subdivision and even though it wasn't mine I wanted to murder the assholes that killed it. There's no reason to hit a cat in a subdivision where the speed limit is 45 kph.
DanniNell 13
#126 - I actually witnessed a cat getting run over at my college. The speed limit is 10 and here is thus guy going 30 and he just hits a cat and continues on his way! I was so pissed that I had to see a cat go under a tire and then hear it's painful meows as it was right there twitching until it took its last breath. That's something no one wants to see. =(
Neyuu 18
Seriously.. no need to go into detail... I've lost cats that way and it's really heartbreaking to think about.