Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it’s my second week at work. I received a phone call from corporate HQ that they wanted to make our monitors wireless, so they wanted me to cut the red wire from the main monitors. I did so, and my boss walks in, furious. Turns out it was a set up to see if I’m “that gullible.” Yes, I was fired. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Today, I was called into the office and suspended due to allegations made by a coworker of poor work performance. Yesterday, I received a certificate praising my work performance. I might be dismissed at any moment. FML
Today, my boss sent a message to a coworker saying, "We're putting all of you back on the phones because one of you can't stop watching Netflix so corporate thinks you guys don't do anything." That person was me. Everyone's pissed at me now. FML
Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML
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Top comments
The_Hitdude 12
That sucks OP. Better than being fired though. But why would he think you would be dumb enough to break your own monitor? You would only be affecting your work ability.
DocBastard 40
The CRT monitor hater doth protest too much, methinks.
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Comments (137)
shadowPlayer 6
You're American. You are innocent until proven guilty. Put a complaint into HR for discrimination.
mandahoney 0
I don't see why it was such a big deal to have a flat screen at your workplace, anyway. Sounds like one of those I-just-want-it-cause-everyone-else-has-it ordeals. Woulda been worth sucking it up rather than ******* yourself out of pay. If it's a paid suspension, then you probably ****** yourself out of ever advancing in your job.
acidfoxxx 0
I'd be telling off my boss and getting a new job! Ah but that's not a option to u yanks. It's sure great to be Canadian and have jobs, houses, fantastic weed, real beer and the metric system :P
liane123 2
sucks
Trisha_aus 15
That truly sucks, I'm really sry op..me thinks you don't even like the job so why not make the best of the time off?
OfficeNinja 5
Bad news. Florida is a right to work state. That translates into "you have the right to be fired for any reason - real or imaginary". Good luck. Somebody clearly has it in for you.
alexup24 13
I think you're the one who destroyed the equipment because you're a ninja, and not just a ninja... an office ninja.
Darcon 8
Sew his ass!
False_Stupidity 42
May as well sew yours as well.. Shit comes out you mouth anyway so your ass is pretty redundant...
Darcon 8
Your** mouth. You're welcome.
XxDancerGirlxX 17
Shut up and do your job OP. Everyone else had to put up with the bullshit that comes with work.
arthurlikestrain 0
That's why you don't whine.
fabcade 14
Don't they have security?