Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my second child. This wouldn't be so bad if my son wasn't only 10 months old and my partner, the father of my children, hadn't been secretly seeing his ex wife. FML
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was concerned I hadn’t restarted my periods yet after the birth of our first child. Turns out it’s because I’m pregnant again already. We must have gotten pregnant off the very first egg I released after giving birth. Our first baby is only 3 months old. FML
Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Today, I announced my fourth pregnancy, this time with twins. I heard my mother mutter, “Finally two kids from the same dad.” FML
Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML
Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I'm 53 and I have four grown children and grandchildren. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm expecting our second child. He ripped up the sonogram and yelled at me to "fucking get rid of it" while jabbing me in the chest. FML
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Top comments
ChocolateScyther 19
that sounds like something out of a horror movie. make sure you keep knives out of your kid's reach...
Bricktothehead 21
If she's 2 1/2 I think she can be forgiven. Although getting a suit of armor might be a serious consideration until she knows better.
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Comments (60)
dakatabg 31
That is funny, at least they are heaving fun
calebmo 7
my first thought was that's kinda cute. Cause I wasn't thinking about a 2 and half year old with a knife. now that I'm thinking about that... call the winchester brothers
fastnachter 15
That doesn't seem to fit the Canadian stereotype :/
GAMERZxxHD 25
If they had a knife or another object that would be very scary. But if it was just their fingers or even their hand it would be very cute!
72alezis838 7
Thats so precious but I agree with the other comments. It may be time to let the cat out of the bag and tell about the baby! Congrats!
StellaNox 16
I find it kind of cute, that is unless it was with a needle or other sharp object..!
malcboss38 10
Hope that baby is okay.
nobiscis 7
How da fuq does that even happen?! ?
Auromo 14
children and their imagination never cease to amaze me.
alex_jaguara 33
Why Do People Type Like This ?
SteamyPenguin 46
It's FML for April fools. It was all normal up until 30min ago.