Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my second child. This wouldn't be so bad if my son wasn't only 10 months old and my partner, the father of my children, hadn't been secretly seeing his ex wife. FML
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was concerned I hadn’t restarted my periods yet after the birth of our first child. Turns out it’s because I’m pregnant again already. We must have gotten pregnant off the very first egg I released after giving birth. Our first baby is only 3 months old. FML
Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Today, I announced my fourth pregnancy, this time with twins. I heard my mother mutter, “Finally two kids from the same dad.” FML
Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML
Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I'm 53 and I have four grown children and grandchildren. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm expecting our second child. He ripped up the sonogram and yelled at me to "fucking get rid of it" while jabbing me in the chest. FML
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Top comments
ChocolateScyther 19
that sounds like something out of a horror movie. make sure you keep knives out of your kid's reach...
Bricktothehead 21
If she's 2 1/2 I think she can be forgiven. Although getting a suit of armor might be a serious consideration until she knows better.
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Comments (60)
noelsom7 13
They weren't using anything sharp were they? That sucks.
CurlyQute 17
What was she trying to pop the " balloon" with?!?
amandalynn84 14
.
skye147 20
Oh my gosh..I hope everything is okay!!
redraven88 16
Sounds like your kid is pro-choice.
tranced_ 45
Good luck with the third one. .
dawood_k 27
Lucky... The kid didn't think it was a pinyatha!!! But damn that must of been scary nonetheless, Goodluck OP
tournamentdecide 33
Could you please tell me what a pinyatha is? Never heard of one.
mezochan 29
I think it's supposed to be an alternate spelling of piñata, but I honestly don't know.
fantasyworld 39
It's cute depending on if they were using their finger or not.
white_terrorist 5
Ouch. I hope it didn't hurt.
ThreeCalls 15
Stop having kids.
AllSoul 23
Why should she?
geekpower_fml 28
Because the human population is estimated to reach 9 billion by 2050 and we don't even know how we're going to feed all these people. Guys, if you want to have kids, try to keep it to 2 at most. Replacement level.
shino411cute 13
Or have as many as you like as long as you can afford to feed them. Their life if they want kids go for it
AllSoul 23
I completely agree with #37.
geekpower_fml 28
It's not being able to afford kids... It's about the future size of the human population.
geekpower_fml 28
*not about being...
geekpower_fml 28
It worked in China... :p
PurpleMyth 28
#34 we're also supposed to have cat eyes and orangish-skin according to national geographic. Not all hypotheses are correct
geekpower_fml 28
As a student at Oxford reading biology and interacting on a daily basis with professors working hard on food security technologies for the future, I'd say it's correct. They wouldn't be getting £2 million worth in grants for pseudo-research.
red82991 5
"So tell me, when did you first decide that you wanted to be an abortion doctor?" "Well..."