Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disney World. Monday, I take a class trip to Disney World. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML
Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML
Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML
Today, after I spent a fortune on plane tickets and hiked a mountain so I could spread dad's ashes around the boulder where he proposed to mom, and where mom's ashes were scattered 3 years ago, the moment was ruined by the fat, stoned teenagers having sex on the boulder here in the middle of nowhere. FML
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML
Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML
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Top comments
melikesfml 11
Mmm wonderful family memories.
Queen_Cosmos 7
Think about it like this, if they never did it on the bench you wouldn't be here today :)
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Comments (145)
melikesfml 11
Mmm wonderful family memories.
ColdplaySucks 18
A bench in the middle of the mountains, nothing out of the ordinary...
skorka 5
Scarred for life.
iNewKid 20
Kinky! But still I wonder why your parents would take you there hmm..
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Bad news: They video taped it, and it's on RedTube. Good News: The broken condom is still there, too! You can sue the condom company!
RaggleFrock 13
Big deal. Your parents had sex and created you. Get over it.
nerobluerose 10
Tell them thanks for showing you this bench and that you may try to conceive their grandchild on it.
Bravesfan319 11
At least they only showed you the bench...
xoconnie 8
i dont understand y they would tell u that?!? thats so awkward and really something no one needs to know...
thatgurltori 6
parents will never learn...
petraphotoDOTca 6
I agree.....this is what happens when you teach kids about STORKS.
melikesfml 11
What is all of this nonsense?!? ^^. Get off my thread >:(
greenglasses 5
So true hahaha
monkeyhead641 6
Was it still dirty
SkoomaKi 28
Yeah, I heard people are starting to preform public bondage and bukkake sessions. Dirty dirty stuff...
SuperDerp 8
Well, if you think being conceived in a park is bad, you should read the story about a guy who slept in the bed he was conceived in.
lopsop 12
Yeah of course after about 10 or 20 years maybe 30 the bench would be dirty that makes sense
terrykayez 6
I have some sarcasm you could borrow.
Archay 13
72 you need to keep it
krewer21 1
Might see the remains of your failed sister or brother!
KiddNYC1O 22
Bukkake Skoomaki!
fmfreakinlife 3
Ahh summer love.
Awahso 25
What if it was winter? Gotta stay warm some how.
rocker_chick105 31
^ were... what if it WERE winter... I'm sorry, major pet peeve. Coomence the thumb downs and grammar nazi comments
Nutty4Muffs 3
53 - Commence*
gurly98 13
53- coomence? I thought u were a grammar nazi
rocker_chick105 31
Didn't mean to put the two "o's" and I'm not a grammar nazi usually. I said it because I thought people would say that.
dsbs 9
Shut up
Annnieck 5
GRAMMAR NAZI! Not everybody here is a native English speaker, deal with it
JayDeLaGhetto 7
Take a deep breath maybe have a seat on the bench. It's the circle of life!
kristenbrown93 0
I surely would not want the image of my biological parents making love on a park bench, or anywhere actually.
boofgall 16
Why point out 'biological' parents? Would it be okay for you if they weren't biological?
notyobabymomma 4
Because if they are the biological parents they created her where adoptive parents didn't? That's the way I took it anyway
Il_Maestro 6
I would be even more disturbed to learn that my adoptive parents knew where my biological parents conceived me.
kristenbrown93 0
Sorry for making my post self specific. I'm not adopted. :) My parents are divorced so I have a set of two, but either way not an appealing picture speaking for myself.
Queen_Cosmos 7
Think about it like this, if they never did it on the bench you wouldn't be here today :)
zuzupetalsYO 11
Did they go down memory lane and make you a little bro or sis?
ICastillo 25
Your their special little mistake.
ICastillo 25
I meant your their special little Accident not mistake...
KatieKupcake4195 9
I think you meant "you're". And OP is no mistake :)
ICastillo 25
Ya I messed up a lot and I meant accident.
Hockeyboy4280 18
Looks like the only mistake here was your grammar
gurly98 13
WTF
kristenbrown93 0
Stuff happens ;)
tHeDaRkNeSs006 10
I wouldnt say OP is a mistake or an accident its possible they planned on boning and getting pregnant. Deffinately a great story to tell
KiddNYC1O 22
Definitely* damn.
tHeDaRkNeSs006 10
Well Grammar Nazi I am truly sorry my typo offended you,but last time I checked FML was not an English class.
melikesfml 11
^pretty sure it is basic english grammar class.....
tHeDaRkNeSs006 10
Pretty sure if you had much of a life you wouldn't spend it bitching about one mistake. Shit happens. So march on back to your little grammar nazi deathcamp and gas the lower life forms that make the real mistakes like this:K thx bi!
SmokingUnicorn 8
You saying that jews are a lower life form and they are the ones who makes the mistakes?
CrazyManNo9 29
#116 - Please don't go there. Grammar is one thing. What you are saying insults you.
SmokingUnicorn 8
Sorry but he was going on about his 'deathcamp', 'lower life forms' etc while talking about gramarnazis so.... just thought that someone might just take it wrong like I did.
muFilter 19
Seriously? You guys started talking about Jews and ruined all the fun the rest of us (you know, normal people who didn't for even one fleeting moment equate grammar nazism with antisemitism) were going to have gassing lower life forms in Grammar Nazi Deathcamp? For ****'s sake...
Wicked361 8
Wonder what people would do if they knew what happened...
Llamacod 11
...to their McDonalds chicken nuggets to get that "natural" shape.
theneatoburrito 8
You guys should pose for a family picture in front of that bench. "Well, this is awkward".
mgkgambino 3
That ***** romantic
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"That's some seriously romantic shit there, Mom and Dad. Too cheap for a hotel I see, Dad."
tHeDaRkNeSs006 10
That bench was probably better than some of the motels in that area. They usually are pretty rough.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Oh yeah. Damn right it's rough. *slapped*
K_kanaka 26
Awwwwww how nice to see where it all began for you op.
hutch66 13
I thumbed you down because your profile picture. Super egotistical.
terrykayez 6
I thumbed you down for your comment. No one gives a shit.