Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML
Today, I had to explain to my housemate that the cast of "The Crown" is not the real Royal Family impersonating themselves. FML
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, my sister told me she doesn't think her mom died the way she was told. Uncomfortable, I declined to give my 2 cents on the matter, saying, "I'm sorry" and, "Oh sh!t, sorry." She started gaslighting me about how I wasn't listening, and I told her I was sorry for being a piece of shit, so she then gaslit me about that too. FML
Today, I listened to my niece explain to me, in great detail, that the Titanic never sank, and that the year it supposedly did was a prediction of 9/11. She learned all of this from some whackjob conspiracy theory videos, and acts like she's an expert now as a result. FML
Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Today, I tried explaining a movie plot to a group of friends, only for them to inform me I had described three completely different movies. One said my version actually sounded better. Another asked if I’d hit my head recently. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
goingsolo211 8
And now you're gonna tell me Santa isnt real too?
rg350dx 29
You might want to consider dental hygiene if you're old enough to live alone and are still losing teeth.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
raufintoff 15
Well actually the character of Shrek was based off a man but only physically, not the story
kievking 14
why would you bother explaing it to her?
rg350dx 29
*gets hit over the head with a crowbar, wakes up in tub of ice missing teeth and kidneys*
LissaMccracken 23
I take your teeth, sorry... I collect them :( You can have them back, if you want... :(
slappygecko 21
But, Shrek is Life. Shrek is Love!
ThedaRose 15
yes because clearly ogres exist and crack jokes to talking donkeys..
ViviMage 40
Shrek is a fractured fairy tale. Though it has some coming of age ties that she might see as real. Like learning to make friends. She has the social skills of a loveless orge based on this FML!
jambells 2
Shrek is actually based on a real person http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/AHc1bLJLX9Y/hqdefault.jpg?feature=og
TheWorldGreatest 8
Omg it's not true! And what about Santa , the Easter bunny ! And the tooth Fairy! Darn
davincidasecond 24
When I realized Donkey wasn't real, it tore my world to shreds. You gotta let her down easy, OP.