Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
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Top comments
akallaan 7
Like a boss or a homeless man.
SkoomaKi 28
My moth died, please like my comment; it's what he would've wanted :(
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Comments (104)
lissa_jade 22
sorry for party rockin ?
lemonsquid 6
Wtf
supahcoolperson 0
Bahahaha I've done that b4, sucks doesn't it? but I ddnt throw up, but it was pretty nasty lol that's the moment when you know uve been drinking too much lately lmao
G0odgrief 0
sweet mercy, enable spell check in your browser settings.
boydeee01 7
I don't think he spelled anything wrong, besides the things he shortened. But, yes I agree.
sexiSugarplum 0
Who cares how she/he writes. At least u can understand it & it saves a few seconds
DocBastard 40
Who cares? I care. Anyone who doesn't want to read gibberish cares. It saves a few seconds? Really? I timed it, and typing "uve" instead of "you've" saves 0.21 seconds. Believe it or not, grammar is still important.
G0odgrief 0
It doesn't seem like a big deal but it's a terrible habit that will bite you in the ass when you type like that for work or school without even realizing it.
lifes_a_b1tch 7
Apparently you drink too much.
G0odgrief 0
what part of accidentally do people not understand?
Zomg_Okay 27
The whole word. :(
Birdie_Sage 0
Oh! I didn't know that word was used in the FML until I saw your comment!
G0odgrief 0
I find it helpful to read the FML before replying, perhaps you should give it a try
briasia 5
-_-
vol4life 6
Shots shots shots shots
Shelta957 13
EVERYBODY!!!
DocBastard 40
Maybe you vomited because your roommate spits the used mouthwash back into the bottle.
boydeee01 7
Oh god, that FML. :-O ~
micahsmommy 13
Ugh grossed out all over again. Thanks for the reminder Doc. :p
joecrv 2
Hahaha I think that's what happened. Hopefully his roommate is Megan Fox.
KiddNYC1O 22
Megan Fox is overrated.
ankoku 2
Wrong type of alcohol..
j_cat187 20
Have you ever tried methanol op?
ipwnallmen 10
ouch. imagine trying to swallow the rest of the day following that.
theonlysweetpea 10
That's ok. Too bad it came back up though. Gotta hold your alcohol better than that to hang with me! lol
j_cat187 20
Rule #1 If you are going to puke, DON'T puke in my car!
barbieee420 1
U should have took a shot of actual alcohol instead of mouth wash. Desspperet much?
haycassidy 7
Accidentally - adv: without intention.