Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
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Top comments
Cyrus00 41
People always blame the fat guy....
feliciaheartu 21
That was mean of you
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Comments (54)
91hayek 31
I have jumped on that grenade. Took one for a friend, and it was easier because like OP it was a girl. People still think girls don't fart.
samlovesham1234 9
Or, that if girls do, it should come out smelling like flowers or something. I mean, really?
imStoneCold 7
Sounds like a shi.... I'll just leave.
Aalejandro77 12
I don't understand people saying that you should have owned up. How would you go about that? Have the flight attendant announce it through the PA. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, the man in 17B just farted and its a ripe one, thank you for flying virgin air." or just yell it out?! How about everyone else get over it. It's a common bodily function (albeit a pretty gross one) but Better out then in I always say ;)
neuronerd 29
Exactly what I was thinking. It would be incredibly socially awkward to announce your fart, and would make people even more uncomfortable than they were smelling it. While it's nice of you to be concerned, I highly doubt strangers who think he farted will impact the passenger next to you in the long run.
soullyfe 33
@18: I think being accused because of something based on your looks would affect most people in the long run and I'm assuming it's not the first time that has happened to the guy.
WhamBamIngraham 4
oh sure, blame the fat guy.
Balphleair 24
Sometimes I just don't know if I should press "I agree, your life sucks" or "You deserve it"...
laden_swallow09 35
What's the point in that, though?
Mathalamus 25
Lucky break. Next time, don't do that.
vikky538 29
The force is strong with that fart.
Dick_diamond 22
"Accidentally"? Yeah, right..
PuppiesKisses 19
I was at a midnight release for grand theft auto with my brother and ex. I sniffed and said 'did somebody fart?' My brother immediately began to giggle and my ex walked to the other side of the room. The ENTIRE crowd followed suit leaving my brother alone laughing in his fart cloud in half of an empty store. He should have taken a page from the OPs book.
allforfun 23
I'm proud of you. I farted on a plane once and the 12 year old kid next to me looked at me and yelled "oh man! Air it out!!" And I got many disgusted looks as I laughed uncontrollably. My wife (at the time) was super pissed and she was sitting several rows away. Farts will always be funny
whitnayfortooh 29
who tf gets mad at a fart?
False_Stupidity 42
I bet she was mad because she wasn't able to rip a good one like that.