Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill. My cat ate it before I could pick it up. FML
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
Today, my dog ate my little brother's medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
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Top comments
yeti09 0
why???
acranine11 0
Better than getting pregnant
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Comments (276)
TheLetterZero 7
Couldn't you have just washed it off? I don't really know anything about those pills.
plexico 4
Maybe dogs' mouths are generally cleaner than humans, but they also lick asses and eat shit. In the moments following those delightful activities, the dogs' mouth become a cauldron of harmful pathogens. "Cleaner" is a vague term. Maybe a dogs' mouth has fewer types of bacteria or a lower number of organisms, but the bacteria in a humans' mouth are those that we have lived with for centuries. Foreign bacteria can be very dangerous. Bottom line: when your dog licks your face, keep you ******* mouth closed!
jennam_fml 4
I'd just like to throw this out there, my dog has never licked his crotch, not once since I got him. He's never licked his butt (mainly because he can't reach it) and if your dog is eating his own crap/something(body) elses crap, he's lacking something.
UllNeverKnow 0
Are you around your dog 24/7 and know EVERYTHING they do?
jennam_fml 4
Lately, I have been. I did homeschooling so during the day I was always around him. But like I said, he can't reach his ass, and he cannot reach his crotch. My dogs INSIDE when I'm out, and we certainly don't leave shit laying around everywhere, so I have no idea where he could get the shit from.
ElDiablo_fml 0
A Dogs mouth is the cleanest place on Earth
mohit88 0
Stick with condoms
laughs_at_0thers 0
im sorry, but its bullshit that a dogs mouth is clean. they lick their own crotch for christs sake, what proof backs up that its clean?? so it looks like your stuck with a gross pill D: if i were you, id put it in like a peice of gum or something and just swallow it all so you dont have to think about it as much. and for the people ragging on you for being on the pill... **** them. it doesnt kill the baby, it just pauses the flow, so anti-abortionists cant really argue their point there (besides, the egg alone isnt a person until it hits the sperm, which is the usual point that anti abortionists consider the point that they gain life, so...) and the long term effects are nothing compared to the long term effect of A BABY. so, yes, fyl :P
diet_otaku 0
it's not a matter of what they put in their mouths, it's the sterilizing effect of their saliva that makes their mouths clean.
pplrretards 0
guys shouldnt comment on this cuz ur being waaaaaaay sexist and btw u try getting pregnant assholes. btw try to have sympathy ppl some of u are being real nasty its ppl like u how ruin this website and the fact that u can comment on it.
Colby_Colbert 0
#80 should shut her **** hole ... & her legs too
laughs_at_0thers 0
you dont even know me. just puttin it out there. just cause someones on birth control doesnt mean theyre sexual promiscuous. a baby wouldnt fit this persons life at this moment. she could be a loyal girlfriend of five years who cant afford a baby at the moment. idk, she could be a prostitute, but if i were you, id learn to not judge before i know someone.
newlove_fml 0
Didn't you previously say you would rather lick a dog's butt than get pregnant, Colby_Colbert? And didn't #80 pretty much say that her not wanting to get pregnant is good enough cause to be on the pill?
Laci_Laine 0
Dogs mouths aren't cleaner they just have different pathogens so it's unlikely they can be carriers of anything that would make a human sick. You can tell by the smell and the plaque buildup that they aren't cleaner.
Asdas_fml 0
Your dogs mouth won't smell bad or have plaque if you take care of your dog the proper way.
FarSide 23
A dog's body chemistry is not that of a human's. Dog saliva causes an immediate reaction. So the pill may not be as effective. Regardless, you are an idiot.
lilacwords 0
No period after FML. wth mods. and yeah FYL.