Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML
Today, I got home at 7 after a long, stressful 12-hour shift. The second I walked through the door, my wife said, "Can you hurry up and make dinner? We're all starving." This happens all the damn time. FML
Today, my husband was home past his usual departure time for work, so I pointedly asked if he would be late. He said he called out sick. I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he said he "wanted to relax in the yard with a book." He's completely lost his mind. FML
Today, after 7 hours of driving, I begged my wife to take over for the last 3 hours. She pulled out a flask and took a long swig, then smirked at me. I drove the rest of the way. FML
Today, I called out of work, making an elaborate claim my wife was sick, and that I HAD to stay home to take care of her, because I have never played hooky from work before. That afternoon, at a minor league hockey game as I'm buying a hotdog with my wife, my boss from behind me asked, "How's the fam?" FML
Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML
Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML
Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML
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Top comments
nwater 0
wow you must have been tired to **** that up. You should have rolled with it and went to bed.
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
Whoa. Yeah I side with nwater. If you forgot you were home, you definitely should have gone to bed. People would have bought it.
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Comments (81)
mutaintkid15 0
Way to go champ
ilikepie789 0
hey #5 ur kinda hot
gigi_bella 0
Like someone else said, you made yourself another excuse to get away from the "boring friends." "Wooo, this is our house? Oh yeah, I feel so stupid! I gotta get some rest."
Mikala5 0
And you could have said "oh yeah sorry I'm just that tired I can't think" not really an FML moment.
lax_chick2011 0
haha wow and i agree with lilcuti3pi389
iLuvCupcakesxoxo 0
Lmao that had to be sooo awkward....OH nxt time(if there is ever a nxt time) pass out..go, "oh oh where am i" and just fall face first. hmm but YDI(not being a good host and not coming up with a better escape plan)
megannnchristine_fml 0
what? I didnt understand this fml?
sallen0046 4
How can you possibly forget your hosting a dinner party in your own home during said party? You're obviously not very bright.
J352SAURUS 30
She was probably so bored she just zoned out.
Taylor_JV 3
hahaha.... you should've been like, sorry, i have really vivid daydreams or something, lol. still.... YDI. ^^p
YouGotTold 0
ydi for being a dc