Gee, how badass of you. I bet that wouldn't have gotten OP fired at all.

Who says she is his boss?? He doesn't have to do anything if he doesn't want to.

Jeeze, just when I think Olpally's comments can't get any dumber, he posts shit like this. Newsflash, genius: it's pretty ****** easy for her to tell his boss and quickly get him fired, or worse.

I actually assumed she was a customer, #24. I don't know what kind of bosses you've had, but I'm pretty sure if I had casually thrown away a customers property I would've lost my job. Asking him to inspect her wedding ring was childish and petty, but from the way the FML is worded that appears to be OP's actual job.

Because all of your comments are right and smart too? My ass.

Nope, I post some dumb shit. But at least I put some thought into them and try not to make them all a variation on "[insert generic statement]. Bitch." You make me feel like I'm not THE dumbest person on here. So thanks for that, dude.

Just go a few fmls down, you'll see I do have thoughtful comments, sometimes these quick stupid ones are rushed.

That's enough you two.

You're Canadian, so I'll yield to your superior wisdom and stop.

Its not in elvish, its the dark words of mordor

Isn't it both? At least I think the lettering is Elvish, just adapted.

Yes, it's both. It's an Elvish dialect that is unfamiliar to many who speak Elvish that aren't Sauron's lackeys. It makes sense if you think about it because orcs are just corrupted elves so they would speak corrupted Elvish.

If you've played the shadow of mordor (spoiler alert. you've been warned) Sauron was an elf and you play it as half ranger of the black gate and half elvish blacksmith celebrimbor, the one who forced those rings.

Polite **** Choose one

Would you kindly remove yourself from the premises and find a place where you can have sexual intercourse with yourself.

Ah you beat me to it lol could've said it was a knock off to start drama

"Ring around the cheating liar, Pocketful of meat to buy her, Relationships, Relationships, Guess they mean nothing."

It worries me that you used > instead of D for the head. That's some harpoon tip you got there.

It's more effective for fertilization, the younger generation is being born with them. Evolution at work.

Going all poindexter here, but the head of the human penis has been discovered to act as one of natures most effective plungers. This means it has evolved to not only go deeper and plant further, but expunge any semen that was deposited earlier, hence its bulbous, bung shape. Evolution takes care of competition that way.

Pretty sure that outside of vindictive shower argument fantasies, that choice would be incredibly unpopular since it would have almost definitely 1. gotten OP fired 2. gotten him sued for destruction of property. But you're right, I'm sure that one brief moment of satisfaction would've totally been worth potentially ruining OP's life over.