Today, my girlfriend is refusing to do anything around the house for me, including cooking, cleaning, laundry, or having sex. When I saw her cooking, I asked if any was for me. She instead replied, “Have the dog do it for you.” All this after I told her honestly that yes, my dog does mean more to me than she does. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent all day doing chores around the house, including mowing and raking the lawn, paying bills, going to the store, meal prepping, and cleaning the fridge. When I sat down to enjoy some well-earned games, my girlfriend sighed and asked if I ever planned to contribute anything to our relationship. FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend complaining that I don't help with the chores, I secretly took a day off work to deal with some that were piling up. When she got home, all she could do was complain about how I hadn't done more. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML
Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
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Top comments
AstroTurf Matador_602345635 10
You know, I was with you until that last line. YDI, for sure.
whatshername?! 39
The question is, what do you do for her? Maybe she's just fed up with all the chores and noone to help. Maybe she is crazy. Too little information about this to judge.
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Comments (11)
whatshername?! 39
The question is, what do you do for her? Maybe she's just fed up with all the chores and noone to help. Maybe she is crazy. Too little information about this to judge.
AstroTurf Matador_602345635 10
You know, I was with you until that last line. YDI, for sure.
D J's MOM 17
YDI of course your dog means more, but you don't tell HER that! hahahahah
RichardPencil 32
Honesty is so overrated. Dogs are the best! You just don't say that out loud to the humans around you. "Telling people what they want to hear" is the best policy. This cliché was in need of a reboot.
Justkidding100 41
tbh it depends on the dog and the gf. If you've had the dog for 20 years and the girl for 1 even though it probably hurts she's being ridiculous. although this does sound like a case where lying helps everyone...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Yeah... you more than deserve it. And do you pull your weight around the house? It sounds like you expect/rely on her to do everything. Cooking, cleaning, laundry... what do YOU do? Are you the one making the money? Or do you both work? Regardless, that was a very mean thing to say. Dogs are important, yes, but sheesh, how did you expect her to react with a confession like that?
Rake 18
Amazing that she is still there, I know I wouldn't have been, She is the one who should post the FML
BurnInDemonFire 39
Don't **** the dog just because your girlfriend is tired of your misogyny. It's illegal. Also, how much of that shit do you do for her? I'm guessing none, since the dog matters more.
Billsonhamsen 17
misogyny because he likes the dog? Sometimes you people take things too far.
reetuuw 3
Only in USA
Tisinlovewithme 2
she should leave you. enjoy the dog.