Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML
Today, a customer checking out a camera at my pawnshop asked if the memory cards got erased. I said yes. He asked if I had a case for it and I left to get it. I came back and the guy said, "There's naked pictures on this memory card!" I Look at the LCD screen and it's a picture of his own dick, which he'd just taken in the store. FML
Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML
Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML
Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML
Today, I was showing my boss a picture on my phone. I didn’t expect her to take my phone from my hand and continue to flip through photos. I anxiously motioned for her to give my phone back, only to realize she had already swiped to my nude picture. FML
Today, in the break room at work, I was looking through my email on my phone about my Amazon orders. There was a suggested product that looked like a dildo. I turned around to see my boss behind me glancing at my phone. FML
Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, some guy sent a dickpic to my phone. I was disgusted, and wanted to find out who did it. I called the police, and they matched the number to my stepfather's new phone. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
you couldn't just look through their contacts instead..?
Shorty_Shaza 5
Why do some guys always take pictures of their penis?
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Comments (139)
AceArctic 4
It wasn't a penis! It was a picture of his deformed pet snake! It's only a dick if you believe it's a dick.
joa76 3
The problem is that English is one of the only languages that doesn't have a neutral term. It's tedious and annoying to say "his or her" all the time, so we've adopted the use of "their" in the singular. The problem with being militant about grammar rules is that language changes. Through common usage, new patterns of speech or writing become correct English. The singular usage of the word "their" is in the dictionary, it's been used for hundreds of years, and it's really only a matter of time before it's formally accepted. Think about split infinitives. Some people still consider it grammatically incorrect to say, for example, "to boldly go," because that's a split infinitive, and you should instead be going boldly. But even among English professors this rule is highly disputed. The same goes for ending a sentence with a preposition, which is sometimes the only way to form a coherent sentence (think of the forced "up with which I will not put" instead of "which I will not put up with"--Churchill, if you don't recognize it).
maronofhearts 19
Their - "used after an indefinite singular antecedent in place of the definite masculine form his or the definite feminine form her." Dictionary.com Since half of you guys are still arguing about it and didn't see it the first time someone posted it. Those of you who are wrong stop whining and get over it. Those of you who are right, they wont get over it, move on just because you outsmarted someone on fml doesn't make you special.
grlwhosings 0
Oh dear God...enough with the ******* grammar lessons...who cares! This is fml not a damn writing exam!
Maria1560 0
Hey- at least OP didn't steal the phone. He/she was just trying to figure out who owned the phone. He/she didn't know what pictures were on it! Who would take those pictures of themselves, anyway?
jserrano33 0
I wish it was me who found that phone
rookiegirl18 0
shouldnt been lookin ahaha!!
someguy314159265 15
Maybe you should have went around and asked people, "Excuse me, are you the owner of this penis?"
Oweniscool 0
It's Brett Farve's phone!
nuttin2tuff_fml 0
bahahahahahahahahaha that effing sucks but is seriously hilarious