Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML
Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML
Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML
Today, I was explaining a complex work issue to my team. I moved my chair back so I could see them all. The leg of my chair went into a hole in the floor, causing it to fall over and me with it. I tried to finish explaining but everyone was laughing so hard they couldn't hear. Then they realized I couldn't get up. FML
Today, working on an ambulance, we had an elderly man who was obviously scared, so to get his mind off things I made small talk. When I went to ask if he was retired, it came out as, "So Steve, are you retarded?" My partner/supervisor across from me had tears running down her face from trying not to laugh. FML
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I attended the will reading of the old lady who accidentally ran me over with her car years ago. I was affectionately mentioned and was left with something rather substantial. I had to listen through all that while getting evil leers and silently judged by family members who got squat. FML
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Top comments
rachelottavia 16
I feel really bad for the person who lost his leg and was telling the story. To see someone fall asleep while recounting something that traumatizing probably hurt even more
oobergoober89 16
You kinda deserve it
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Comments (100)
chuka81 27
I hope finds it, up your obnoxious ass.
GAMERZxxHD 25
Well did he find it?
VitalDistance 14
When I'm tired I form sentence that don't make sense. In this situation Id consider that an advantage.
abNormal62 23
You don't have a leg to stand on when you screw up like that You really put your foot in your mouth that time my friend
iwanttogotoparis 26
You kinda deserve that one, sorry
fakedsincerity 32
If you don't find it useful (which I assume you don't as you were falling asleep), you shouldn't be there as you're taking up the space for someone who could benefit from it a lot.
ma12r 22
Not cool to be falling asleep during a support group. You deserve this one and every death glare you received
engineerosaurus 26
At least if you're going to be bored and not pay attention, keep your mouth shut. YDI.
burninsnow 23
Are you honestly expecting us to give you sympathy?
Bgreene_5 12
I bet he was stumped when he couldn't find his leg