Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML
Today, my mum, who always wanted more kids than just me, started crying because I'm not pregnant with her first grandchild yet. I'm 16, and this all started because I got my period and I asked to borrow one of her tampons because I'd ran out of my own. FML
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
Today, I found my daughter sobbing and trying to stick a wad of gauze to her vagina. She was having her first period. FML
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Top comments
goshpeople 4
You're all grown up!
Feklfekl2222 32
who would tell everyone you started your period? it's a private thing not something to have a party about
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Comments (222)
Mi24hind 0
Your dad is not one to keep secrets, is he?
j_cat187 20
menstrual cycle party?
iAmScrubs 19
She's taking a trip down memory lane. Back in the primitive days where they used leaves as tampons.
ducky570773 14
LMAO
rdvfyubuyg 1
what the hell… better yet WTF WTF WTF WTF!!
DKjazz 20
What the ****, where the ****, who the ****, when the ****, and why the ****, respectively. You're welcome.
jovisawesome 0
hahahaha no x]
amrik 11
what a retard
TalkinSmack 6
now go around asking everyone for money to buy tampons... that shit is expensive!
mandy1397 0
lol
imcutefml 0
free money :D
stacianichole 2
tampons are not expensive.
skyttlz 32
Yes they are. 5 or 6 dollars for a box and all you do is bleed in em then throw it away.
TalkinSmack 6
exactly. it's throwing money down the toilet!
fogrunner 13
Everyone... Google menstrual cups. :)
DKjazz 20
I don't think tampons actually do anything, because I can pee when they're in.
Iris_River 15
You do realize that's two different holes right? It all doesn't come out of the same spot.
7sevensevenseven 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
y wood u tell ur dad in the first place
TheWickedOne 0
Probably because most girls who are just getting their period for the first time, are still young and moneyless. if her mom wasn't around when it started she was probably forced to ask her dad to go to the store for her.
gravy_jones 0
22 I hope you realize how retarded what you typed makes you look.
6tori6 5
why would you choose to spell "would" as "wood"?
imneverhigh8p 0
my mom forced me to tell my dad
disturbedrox11 17
it is usually impossible for your dad not to notice or find out at some point even if you don't tell him. if your mom is buying tampons for you. or you get cramps for about a week every month. or if someone just mentions it. it's not a big deal usually. it's not that strange for your dad to know
xXwolflegionXx 8
nice job spelling 'would'
5t3ff1k4h 47
Guys, when I first got my period, I was at the park with my entire family. My stepmom was dealing with the rest of the kids, and my dad was sitting off to the side. If my stepmom was busy, and my dad wasn't, what was I supposed to do? I did what any other girl would have and told whoever could take care of me immediately. Hell, I was 11. I had no idea what was going on, all I knew was that I was in mass amounts of pain (and later discovered I was bleeding... oh no!). Bottom line, even though your dad's male, he still knows what women go through (aside from the idiot who said periods are "no big deal") and even though many men don't want to hear about it, they'll still take you to a store so you can get some pads or tampons if you need it.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
haha, reminds me of that family guy episode were Peter announces meg's first period.
rattusrattus 19
Good pun, OP. :D
rattusrattus 19
Ugh. Doesn't anyone know anything about the origins of the term "hysteric", relating to the greek word for womb?
knocking 0
It could be worse. I'm 23 and my dad still refuses to believe that I even have a period. That does suck that he announced it to your entire family. By the way, how'd the rest of the family react?
kookookatchu 0
get pregnant, then he'll believe you. problem solved.
emilieee_fml 0
how is that even possible, thats lile me saying "oh, i dont believe there is a sun.." wierd
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
little did you know pedo bear and quagmire were in the background having their own party for it.
DarkHelmet 10
hahahahaha this comment just made me 'effin day!!!