Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML
Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Starfire22 5
Ydi, why didn't you just say that you had a girlfriend? Or just said " no thanks"
Julianneisasmurf 0
don't judge a book by it's cover.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
happyhak 5
#18, I dont think the OP has any balls :)
Soulathyia 0
Pendatic needs to lose some major weight before he dies of a heart attack!
Jen_J_the_J 0
ah bad luck karma ^.^ well maybe ull go out with him and find out ur really gay, r bi! fun fun :D and y were u in a bar with 3 other peoplw? how early were u there?! sad
suesblues 0
YDI for being a shallow douchebag.
marz88 0
Oh please get off your high and mighty horse. If someone you didn't know approached you about introducing you to their friend and it turns out their friend was hideous, I am willing to bet you would also make up a lie to get out of it. If you say otherwise I call bullshit XD.
hyoori 0
agree with #15 -__-"
Oupazas 1
Next time just say, "Sorry, I'm only interested in other species."
lil_miss_shorty 2
Interesting that "I'm gay" was the first thing you thought of... Freud would certainly have a few things to say about that!
sublime93 0
Haha!
JustCyanide 0
THIS!!! :D
catkat1988 17
lol, that's funny... What goes around comes around, I guess. You got what you asked for. ;-) That's what you get for stupid lies. At least find one that won't backfire, such as "I have a girlfriend", "I'm married," "I'm interested in someone else," or just the simple truth, that you weren't interested in a date right now. No need to lie about your sexuality.
LaughingVeggies 0
I guess that's what bars look like. Unlike those horrible commercials. :P
greeneye_fml 12
Just say "I'm in a relationship." Works for me.