Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML
Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML
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Top comments
Starfire22 5
Ydi, why didn't you just say that you had a girlfriend? Or just said " no thanks"
Julianneisasmurf 0
don't judge a book by it's cover.
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Comments (115)
I_am_stupid_also 6
Saying "I'm waiting for someone better looking" always works for me. Or, if the woman doing the introducing is doable, it's "Forget your friend baby, let's go."
Emally 0
Thats whatcha get for lying.
jts2 3
"I'm dating someone", "I'm married", "No", "Go **** yourself", "Go **** him".. ANYTHING but "I'm gay" would have worked in this case.
Pmm368 5
Not the brightest bulb in the package
Hillbilly_Deluxe 3
dude, being gay is nothing to be ashamed of
hmckay2010 0
YDI for being a little boy. if u can get into a bar stop acting like ur in jr high. and ur first response was ur gay??? I think u have sexuality issues u mite need to think about. normal ppl would just say they're taken.
me5 0
That's your subconscious getting out of the closet. Your conscious is next!
SubjectX 0
never play the odds when you don't want to lose that badly. say "sorry, not interested" or similar.
wildcatsrule11 0
sucks to be you fag
CYNNER 0
You deserve it for not saying that you weren't available. and a second count of ydi for looking gay