Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
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Top comments
Osmness 0
The question is... Why were you running from the cops?
abbytequiere 9
And that is why you must look before you leap...
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Comments (202)
nwaallday 0
Yeah! **** tha Police!
SxeDaze 13
Poppycock , without order there shall be only chaos.
bluetorpedo 0
Remember that as you call them and make a theft report about your weed. That some (insert commonly used derogatory term for African Americans here) stole from you during your drug deal gone wrong.
doodlingdavid 0
Don't run from the cops jack ass.
KhronicSmoke 2
Your ass wouldn't be able even if you wanted to
DooleyFTW 17
22 - That's exactly what I was gonna say lol great minds think alike!
bizarre_ftw 22
Running from cops and ended up in thornbush? Karma? What the hell did you do?
juwood 7
Someone got-a hurt real bad
yummcookie 0
That's why you don't drop the soap
robc32ca 4
Cause the shower in jail would be so much more pleasure!
RawEndo 1
it would be hilarious if the cops caught him kuz of this post
inkblotdrummer 6
No he got arrested, it's painful because he dropped the soap
maphineRAWRS 10
I've fallen off my veranda into my rose bush before, I know exactly how you feel ahha