Today, as I was at Starbucks writing a paper, a man came and sat next to me. He started staring at me, then I noticed his hands were down his pants. It was noticeable that he was masturbating, so I went to tell a worker. They just said, "He's a regular" and didn't do anything about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had the closing shift at work in a café and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee, she grabbed my arm and said, "I think that man is masturbating" and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML
Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML
Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started daydreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone came up to me and said, "Try not to be so obvious." Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML
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Top comments
Steve115s 7
I believe public masturbation is illegal, so If you happen to see him again and he is masturbating call the police
jcash52426 5
Steven Linda what the **** does that have to do with what this person posted. Anyway next time you see someone masturbating in public try a take a pic of his face and move away from him and call the police.
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Comments (29)
knackers01 2
should of poured hot coffee onto his junk. thats so innapropriate it's not even allowed at strip clubs
species4872 20
It's illegal anywhere if it is view of the public. You could be in your own home but if you can be seen by the public through a window....illegal.
OhPuhleeze 23
Oh My God, Stephen with a PhD you spend way too much time at the Starbucks.
naturegrl 9
You should have called the police. I hope you don't ever have that happen to you again.
species4872 20
Suppose they gotta look after their regulars.
blackrose1996 11
Call the cops next time
sasquatchius 3
Uhh... call the cops. Public masturbation is illegal everywhere.
Nnzyb 8
Some companies have rules about employees not calling the police on their customers, with exceptions for things like shoplifting or actively causing a disturbance. In that case, that employee's hands are tied. It might have been a different story if the guy whipped his dick out or started engaging people. Still, you're more than welcome to take matters into your own hands and call the police yourself.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Don't go there anymore. And call corporate and report him and the employee.
NikkiNemo 13
how about instead of posting on fml you call the damn cops you igot
Jacobus_G 3
did the guy that look normal or could he have had a mental handicap. maybe everybody in the Starbucks knows that it's a lot easier to just let him do what he's going to do because he freaks out and cause a big scene whenever gets challenged