Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he called "liquid ass." I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Taking the piss
Today, I arrived at work early. I noticed the plants on the side of my classroom could use some water so I went out to do so. On the way, I found a beer can. Not wanting the kids to see it, I picked it up but some spilled on my dress. I quickly noticed a familiar smell. No, not beer. Urine. FML
Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
Today, I was in class and I smelled what I thought was month-old trash coming from a student in front of me. I politely ignored the smell, only to realize a few hours later that the persistent smell wasn't coming from every student in my university, but was from my shoes. FML
Oh shit
Today, as I was getting ready to go to class, I accidentally stepped in dog poop. I was in a hurry, so I scraped it off as best as I could. When I go to class, I noticed it smelled. The girl behind me noticed and said, "Mmmmm, smells like food in here." FML
Wet leg
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Drunk on the job
Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML
Top comments
ThomasBombadil 31
Wow, that's a hell of a prank. Ruin someone's day/week for your jollys. Bummer OP.
mannatee 19
How many friends do you have after that assholery
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Comments (74)
purebliss_fml 19
And here's what you say to him next time you see him - "alright you little shit, game on" then go home and concoct your plan of revenge.
babygurll19 10
Oh that'll show him!
drake1138 21
Yeah, then make a balloon filled with lighter fluid and throw it at him and set off some bottle rockets in his direction. :/
EvilLittleMan 23
Your reply should have been, "I have a solid that I will use to l get my revenge on you, it's called Foot Up Your Ass and Boot to your Face".
Yeshua_fml 19
It's unfortunate that happened to you, but that name is hilarious and inventive!
kingdomgirl94 29
The little shit got it offline.
babygurll19 10
Online* why do people say offline when they mean off the online web? offline is quite the opposite
kingdomgirl94 29
Its kind of a smear between "off the internet" and "online" xD I hadn't even noticed I said it until it was too late to fix it. Oh well, my point stands.
Taink3765 6
I would have beat his ass till it turned to liquid
Beepbeep7 14
You..I like you.That is the exact same thought I had.
skipper2009 18
Kick that little bastards ass. Kids today have no respect for nothing.
TallMist 32
Yeah, I agree. To be honest, though, I did my fair share of disrespectful things. Didn't exactly help my generation's image, but at this rate, I doubt it can be helped. x_x Ah well, who knows? Maybe there's a light at the end of this extremely long tunnel.
Sadgirox 7
but April fools is tomorrow........
OhWhoCares 42
This made me gag. Liquid ass sounds like some form of diarrhea. I'm sorry OP and that sucks about your presentation. At least you're able to go home and shower off after. :/
CSUNMSU 5
Catch him outside and beat his butt with a bag of onions. They don't leave bruises
alicat13 12
Onions do leave bruises... telephone book curled up or,waterboarding :-)
KaylaTackett 18
If this is something that happens often, I would press charges on the kids parents. If they're not going to punish their kid, punish them for having an asshole kid.
drake1138 21
I'm glad someone else thinks that it's the parents responsibility! Congrats on 100 comments BTW
geoforce 6
lmao! f your life but that kid probably had one hell of a giggle
babygurll19 10
Please don't laugh your ass off, I think OP has had enough for one day.