Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML
Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
Today, my mom slaved over a hot stove making a meal for 20 guests. They all cancelled at the last second. We now have leftovers for 20 people. FML
Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML
Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
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Top comments
sandracore 15
i hate roommates
primadonna9396 16
I know right? Sensibly budgeting for a baby is so ridiculous. It's much better to rent a place you can't afford and just raise your kid on welfare and food stamps. It might be in the scummiest most ghetto part of the neighborhood, but at least you have your own place...right?
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Comments (55)
angeluv_2014 22
This fml is so sad :(
XxEmo_PaganxX 13
I can't believe people would say you deserve this. There's this thing called asking. They could've tried it.
Redmai 22
Half of y'all are some bitter opinionated folks, this lady and her baby ain't eat all your soup calm the hate.
qpdoll 19
Your roommates are giant fucksticks.
xaddrus 17
i woulda pissed on them and their beds while they’re at work or something.