Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML
Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
Today, my mom slaved over a hot stove making a meal for 20 guests. They all cancelled at the last second. We now have leftovers for 20 people. FML
Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML
Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
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Top comments
sandracore 15
i hate roommates
primadonna9396 16
I know right? Sensibly budgeting for a baby is so ridiculous. It's much better to rent a place you can't afford and just raise your kid on welfare and food stamps. It might be in the scummiest most ghetto part of the neighborhood, but at least you have your own place...right?
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Comments (55)
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Will they steal your baby's food as well? Maybe you need to move back home?
percawesome 0
Mmmmm, carrot purée... *drools, Simpson-style*
deaper 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for having pigs for roomates! (And for not telling them ahead of time/leaving a note about what you were doing!)
thisismyname_fml 1
Why should she have to write a note? If the roommate didn't make the soup, which he/she didn't, then they shouldn't be eating it without asking first. OP, fyl for having to be in a shitty situation with a shitty roommate, and for having the flow of nasty comments you are sure to get/are getting about being pregnant with a roommate even though nobody knows the details of your situation.
juliaaalove 8
yes because everyone always writes a specific note of what they are going to do and what they are not.. also, what is not to be touched.
herevgoagain 0
Universal Truth : Roommates = Monkeys
momo1972 3
who are you the soup-nazi
jlaw0729 0
Maybe you should have chosen some better roommates
Lady_Zydrate 1
Grab your stomach and say 'the stress you are putting on me is killing the baby!!!'
corambis 13
If you have trouble with sharing a home with people that trash the place and eat all your food, you probably shouldn't be having kids.
ramennoodlepie 0
Exactly!
Lawlipop 3
Dealing with your spawn being locust-like douchebags is different than dealing with what are presumably adults behaving like children.
perdix 31
You should have done a better job with the birth control. Wait until you live with your boyfriend/husband before you even think of bringing a baby into the world. Have your roommates decided when your baby has to pay its share of the rent? If they believe that life begins at conception, your baby is going to be born owing 9 months of back rent. I'm sure their lives will become just delightful once the screaming demon of a poop factory emerges from your womb.
vietgirl6 0
Technically its not fml. Its effyourmoms life. She was the obe who did everything lol
lolol_BKYCHO 3
Aww that sounds like something my mommy would do c: