Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
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Top comments
jlowder2 0
just remember...the mouse is more scared of you than you are of him....actually, in this case I dont think that is correct.
eean 0
If it was a mouse..... then yike. Don't be ashamed of yelping if your holding a mouse by its tail accidentally. It could give you rabies or something.
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Comments (44)
NotSettling 3
I hope you guys had a good laugh over that after the fact!!!! I have a 35 year-old male friend who is so scared of spiders that, if he sees one, will get up on his office chair and scream for his 20 year-old female assistant to come into his office and kill it. One time we put a fake spider in there just to see the drama unfold. Hilarious!
Soulathyia 0
Lol. Give the cat another 5 minutes the mouse won't be moving anymore! Lol
Tunia 0
I'm the lucky wife. ;P What he left out is that we have 3 cats, and they are just sat around looking at the mouse rather than doing anything about it! I agree with the person who said it's my FML and not his! Took me an hour to get back to sleep!
perdix 31
Why no "sexy time?" You were both up and your husband was aroused, albeit not from lust for you, but out of fear of certain death with nasty, pointy teeth. Nevertheless. . .
me5 0
...that squeals like a girl...
ERAUPike 1
Today, I was on the couch while my wife was asleep. I'm only 26. FML
mr_miyagi 0
just tell your wife the cat made a squealing noise, not you an then man up next time
containsnosoy 0
OH NO! Your reputation of being a manly man is RUINED because you squealed at a mouse! I hope your relationship is not that shallow.
Drea_Gucci 0
i would have had the same reaction. tehe
TrollTrollTroll 0
someday i will punch every single one of you in the face because of this FML
teiso_fml 0
I'm not a person who tends to squeal at the sight of a rodent, however, considering that you thought it was a toy and bent down to pick it up with that expectation, when it suddenly started moving and, with you bent down about to pick it up would probably bite your finger if you had succeeded, it seems perfectly reasonable to me that you'd react in shock