Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML
Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML
Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, my mom was going to take me shopping to buy a gift for my dad’s birthday, but unfortunately, I missed a spot while cleaning the kitchen. Now my mom is “embarrassed to be seen with me in public” and will buy my dad nothing, and tell him it’s because I don’t love him. FML
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Top comments
IndianRapper 0
ur moms sorta a bitch im sorry:(
BobSock 1
What is " Mothering Sunday"?
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Comments (132)
IndianRapper 0
ur moms sorta a bitch im sorry:(
MissBunny25 0
haha sounds exactly like my mom. however, OP, your mother is a motherfucking ****-juggling thudercunt.
IndianRapper 0
hehe thundercunt is a funny word:]
kittycatman2 3
LMFAO Love the "thundercunt". What does the award look like?
SchiTzenGiglez 0
hahaha-11 I see what you did there. I hope none of this gets moderated :(
jhoward7 0
I agree. I'd keep the present. she's the ungrateful one
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
lmao @ MissBunny XD so it was YOU who posted that on that poor guy's FaceBook!! :P
MissBunny25 0
32 shhh.... heheheh >:)
rebekahah 7
squeeze your finger and let her eat your blood. :) revenge doesn't solve anything, but it gets pretty darn close. :D
iBanana 17
11 , your comment is a win and so is that FML.
raptorjebus 0
miss bunny, if there was a word that described how much win your comment had, the world would explode.
WOGBRO 6
I AGREE.
spencerchu 0
cuntflaps
freddyisepic 2
cuntknuckles
funnyFMLSplz 0
double fail. oh ms bunny, i love mac and cheese so much. heh ;D
DiamondFinish 0
You need to come up with so something original. Don't steal the FML's. Retarded **** Juggling Thundercunt was used about 7 or 8 postings down. Except you added motherfucking, you killed it.
starryxeyes 2
92- Uhm, if you paid attention you'd notice that they posted their comments around the same time. So, I'm going to assume that since comments don't always show up right away, that when #11 posted her comment she had no idea that #10 ha posted something nearly identical to hers.
starryxeyes 2
92- Uhm, if you paid attention you'd notice that they posted their comments around the same time. So, I'm going to assume that since comments don't always show up right away, that when #11 posted her comment she had no idea that #10 had already posted something nearly identical to hers.
MissBunny25 0
92 you mad, bro? I bet it's because you have an unnaturally large pole up your ass.
javmuniz87 0
thats justice
DiamondFinish 0
No I am not mad. But guess what bitch? They just ran out of macaroni. Since that is all the food you can afford you're going to have to eat shit.
Mapholisto 7
Hahah, 101, I loved your comment.
emoflopkitteh 0
makes me realize that my mom is the same way.
ZielZone 4
Why be sorry... I would cancel the present and let her starve until she got a wee bit nicer!! Remind her just who it is that's going to choose her retirement home.
BobSock 1
What is " Mothering Sunday"?
IndianRapper 0
maybe its mothers day in UK
AnagenisisZagus 13
Aww, #15, you are much too kind. Next time leave it to the lazy guy here to do his own work.
ugliness 6
I gave my mum chocolates and her fave flowers, she took them then started telling me how useless I am, don't you just love mothers day?
mobius8 0
You bled all over her sandwich! On Mother's Day! Terrible. I phoned my Mum and she thought I was awesome.
crazyaces89 7
yeah i was wondering the same thing...can't be mothers day cause that's next month
ancora 1
Different countries celebrate Mother's Day on different days. In the UK, it's today. This year in US and Canada (and a ton of other countries), it's May 8th.
tulsafml 0
Get her a real present for mothering Sunday. give her a dog. by dog i mean myself
vbmg152 19
Now, that's just mean! I have 4 grown kids & not one of them can afford to buy me stuff I don't need! I don't expect them too, a card & a hug are the best! I'm sorry that happened to you! You are very thoughtful for getting her anything & she should appreciate it!
vbmg152 19
ugliness, Why call yourself that? My reply was to you! I'll try again; Now, that's just mean! I have 4 grown kids & not one of them can afford to buy me stuff I don't need! I don't expect them too, a card & a hug are the best! I'm sorry that happened to you! You are very thoughtful for getting her anything & she should appreciate it!
noobgang7 5
Should have given up "Mothering Sunday" for Lent... Lmao
ryry98 7
mothers Sunday is mothers day in england
sophiehelen 32
Different days in different countries
newwitch2010 11
mother's Day
chosha_fml 27
Someone is ungrateful there, but I don't think it's you. :(
TXjuggalo972 6
why didn't op deliver himself instead of shipping it if he was going to her house?
parte_perdiz 0
ever heard of ordering off the Internet?
TXjuggalo972 6
yeah I know but still I would have ordered it to MY house and wrapped it and gave it to her op Is retarded
LoveKeepsGoing 7
maybe he lives with his mother
keegan23 4
I agree with #1. I wouldn't get her anything.
hockeyrocks39 0
I agree with #1&5... what a terrible person the mother is to be that selfish and hateful to their kid.
flamegrilled123 3
it's sunday, they don't deliver on sundays
armman 4
Amazon has a Sunday delivery option.
BlckIvie6xoxo9 0
only Saturday, not Sunday. that's all shipping companies they use :-/
deathcharm001 3
what a lovely biatchy mom no offense.
Neorecon19 18
I'd be calling her an ungrateful, insensitive bitch for not appreciating the fact your trying to make her feel special and also because she can't seem to respect her own child
7rafe7 0
you need to stand up for yourself.. why didnt you just tell her the present didnt come. your letting your own family treat you like shit
TakeOneLastBreat_fml 0
exactly!
nerdchic 5
that's a total bitch! I'm sorry op that your mom is a thundercunt
calbiasso 12
Thundercunt is officially my new favourite word.
beclaurela 18
Mothering Sunday is like the US's Mothers Day. I'm sorry OP about your mum, but you're an idiot. Amazon doesn't ship on Sunday's.
olii_fml 0
Amazon DOES ship on Sundays, you just pay a little more
BoCo_fml 9
I'm thinking that OP was expecting the package before Sunday, and there was a delay. That means she'll get it tomorrow. OP, I'm sorry your mother is so awful, I would exchange the gift for something that I want...screw her and her bitchiness.
shovels 0
good job at getting the present last minute!
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agreed. Mum's reaction was a little severe but OP could've ordered ages ago.
Clover2009 0
If you're anything like me, sometimes you don't get the money to buy the gift until last minute. Timing on paychecks, bills, and other payments could make it a little difficult. Shoulda, coulda, wouldas are kinda silly for this, because for all you know, OP couldn't afford the gift until last minute.
Jackmangold 0
so you're saying op has NEVER had enough money for his mothers day present for his mom this year up until just a few days before it was supposed to be delivered?