Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML
Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML
Today, my house was so dusty that when I started to clean it, the smoke detector went off. FML
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Top comments
EmilieAutumn 7
Just make sure you never have sex around him.
haZzbin 0
Could come in handy… if your house were to catch on fire and the alarm somehow didn't sense it
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Comments (106)
Linkerdoodles 15
I like OP's name :D
skyeyez9 25
My friend's african Grey parrot imitates the sound of the neighbor's emphysema cough. Other interesting sounds he does: kitchen cabinet squeaks open, jackhammer noise (there was construction outSide of their apartment one summer), various lines from The Golden Girls show....something about St Olaf's.
skyeyez9 25
For the longest time his bird would talk nonstop, but if you go into the living room Where the bird was, he would instantly stop talking and just stare at you. Then start back up when you leave the room.
geod69 8
Wel at least you'll get that A now
shovelface1990 4
I hate parrots.
hateevryone 15
damn parrot
Hiphuray4peas 27
Mine does that too. Particularly when he wants fresh water. Gotta love 'em, birds.... very likely (unless you use behavior modification techniques) your bird will continue to squawk like that until he no longer finds it rewarding, or he isn't able to squawk anymore.
sweetliferg 3
Sounds like there are 2 FMLs here... 1 you can't cook 2 your parrot.
badactor009 0
Parrots don't just learn words and other human sounds.Those damn things will imitate any noise they hear over and over. Had one that used to growl exactly like our dishwasher!
TangentX 2
Aren't banshees already dead?
beaker38 5
I would have taught him to make sierns and other anoying sounds