Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML
Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML
Today, my house was so dusty that when I started to clean it, the smoke detector went off. FML
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Top comments
EmilieAutumn 7
Just make sure you never have sex around him.
haZzbin 0
Could come in handy… if your house were to catch on fire and the alarm somehow didn't sense it
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Comments (106)
tennisrapper1 14
Parrot up with Justin bieber, they'd make a "great" duo. Both are annoying and have smelly feet!
GoW_Chick 15
You sniff Justin beiber's feet? 0.o
tennisrapper1 14
Well, I smell them from miles away. If I were to sniff them, like anyone else, I'd die.
perdix 31
I thought parrots became obsolete after the Furby was invented.
taerts 9
I heard you could install spy cameras in those furry toys :|
GoW_Chick 15
You can install spy cameras into anything... I mean nothing heh.*backs away while whistling*
asherm 15
I miss the furby!!
Jkolbly 11
Furbys are evil.
MrsPegg 45
I'm with 67 on this one. My Fubry wouldn't stop talking even after I took the batteries out! I then threw that thing as far as I could into the woods behind our house & left it there to rot... then a year ago when I was helping my mom move, we found it in her storage room. Those are just plain evil creatures. And yes I meant creatures; toys are fun, not things that talk, come back to "life" and are scary as hell.... I know I'm not alone on the crazy Furby tales!
randomkayx3 11
Try settling with a goldfish?
Jf770 10
Now you can start a screamo band.
JumbledGirl 2
My first instinct was to 'like' this
GoW_Chick 15
You know what you have to do... Get a cat and 'accidentally' leave the cage open when you leave the house, and let the circle of life take it's course.
The_Hitdude 12
Poor Zazu...The entire moral of the movie was a lie!!!!
skyeyez9 25
Tempting. But parrots are extremely expensive and some into the thousands of dollars. OP will not kill his $$$$$bird$$$$$.
isis_morrigan 18
If it doesn't shut up soon, OP might consider it!
skyeyez9 25
At the most, he could sell it and tell the potential buyer that the bird is quiet.
taerts 9
Must be a smart cookie :) Just put on some classical music for birdie and hope he learns it
sqeakyclean 7
The poor bird is imitating his environment to identify with his "flock," which is his family. Birds have huge hearts. There are plenty of ways OP can reverse this behavior, which he should of known about before getting a bird. I am a proud mommy of four birds of my own.:)
br0ccoli 15
Time to break out the KFC. Look into the eyes of your parrot while violently breaking apart the drumstick from the thigh. Then point to a picture of a chicken on your computer and point to your parrot. Make a throat-cutting gesture. That'll teach him.
aleishaa_jadee 13
I lol'ed
Ace2254 8
When a 9mm or 44 comes in handy????????
j_cat187 20
12 gauge skeet shot: It's super effective!