Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML
Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML
Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
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Top comments
TheGamingGamer 28
Report them immediately. That's not ok, and you worked hard on your garden.
Justkidding100 41
serve them a special salad as a thank you.
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Comments (41)
ohsnapword 21
After catching them, they wouldn't be painting my house anymore.
swag_bear 18
I would have picked them, brought them inside and made a meal with them, then offer them the food. Like "here's your meal for working so hard!". Secret revenge...
blackrose1996 11
Some one isn't getting paid and if you have paid then time for court to get your money back and if that happens it could go as attempted murder since you don't know if they don't have anything
MamaChey 24
#32 - Attempted murder? Seriously? Bless your little heart...
Rangeralex92 9
Best FML I've read in a long time
dragoongirl90 34
They would be fired and sued and have the cops called. ******* disgusting.
svecco 4
Boo freaking hoo. I'm baffled by all the responses; sue them, fire them, report them, one even had the audacity to call it attempted murder. All that because they peed on the vegetables, as in peeing in nature? First of all, you're supposed to wash before eating it; secondly, take a wild guess what natural fertilizer is... Bunch of hypocrites.
ickyjuice 8
Urine is not natural fertilizer... at all. I could give a S#it less about her tomatoes, but the PH of their piss throws off the soil (Along with Nitrate/Nitrite levels and other such bio hooplah) and will kill the plants. FYI.
ickyjuice 8
Better than them doing rails on your bathroom counter and leaving tweaker dust for the kids to find...