Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
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Top comments
Jon_fml 4
Hah, why only half-retarted?
grrbabyverygrr 0
You don't have to go all crazy on her; maybe the OP already reported this to the police, if she felt the need to. You don't have to beat her down to the ground, she's probably scarred already. & by the way, worst is incorrect. worse, would be appropriate, thankyouverymuch.
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Comments (38)
DynamicDave 11
I agree with mike (#18). YDI for thinking an image could get burned into your corneas insteated of retinas (retinae? lol) @All the idiots flipping out about OP's use of the word "retard": Chill out! It's not that big of a deal, seriously. At one point that was an actual medical term, what's changed except for more political correctness? Grow up and stop being so sensitive.
Dale_xD 15
How can you be half retarded . . . ?
eatpie 0
ooohh that sucks haha
wheatie 0
take it as a compliment(:
stopreadingmynam 0
hey, retarded is an unfortunate word for people with a mental illness. they don't know what they are doing is wrong by our standerds.
bobateme 0
There's a reason why they sell guns in America.
ftwfml55 0
bobateme. I'm pretty sure that u should finish reading a comment before u reply. the person u replied to said exactly what you said. so don't go telling someone off if you have no idea wtf you're talking about. k? thanks.
PinaSlicker 0
cmon ahahahaha
ihatecake 0
how is it possible to be half retarded? unless he/she means it figuratively of course.
lurveu_mysweet_t 0
I hope she meant physically cuz calling a mentally challenged person retarded is mean?