Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
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Top comments
Jon_fml 4
Hah, why only half-retarted?
grrbabyverygrr 0
You don't have to go all crazy on her; maybe the OP already reported this to the police, if she felt the need to. You don't have to beat her down to the ground, she's probably scarred already. & by the way, worst is incorrect. worse, would be appropriate, thankyouverymuch.
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Comments (38)
FiVeStAr_fml 0
haha. sorry... i actually feel really bad for you but other people's pain is my humor.
christopherlove 0
How could you even see someone's lap in another car, unless you drive something really obnoxious?
Jester_Atropos 0
I once came down a gravel road in the middle of nowhere to find a half-naked redneck doing the same thing. He was standing next to his pickup truck, parked just off the edge of the gravel. If anyone ever invents eye bleach, they'll get rich off of crap like that.
420bliss 0
it's "burned into my retinas" not corneas
spade_fml 0
#9 your a ******* retard. Your all like " oh no you just said retard and im gonna tell my mommy!!!" i meen what the ****. and what the ****? Hate speech? Are you just retarded or a creepy 30 year old still watching **** in your moms basement?
blkwhtrbbt 0
you aren't? based off that comment I expect you're some seventeen minus who has fathered more aborted fetuses than you have hairs, with about that many girls you lied to
maximumoverdrive 0
Half retarded?
ellysa_fml 0
Lmfao
KonM4N4Life 0
@Didi, WTF is yahoo got to do with anything ??? What are you half reatarded
workstupid 0
he might not have been jerking off because of you, i heard that people that do have mental issues jerk off a lot more then other people.
HunterAlpha1 8
you mean facial and/or weight issues
Aspie 0
YDI for using the word "retarded".