Today, after driving to three drug testing clinics that were approved for my job, each one declined me, saying they don't do testing anymore. Now I have to drive another 25 miles to see if someone will say, "You're clean." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
Waste of time
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Quiet quitting time
Today, I went to do a drug test for a new job. While I was there, they said the job was part-time with no insurance. Previously it was supposed to be full time with insurance. Now I have to take a job that pays $20,000 less a year. FML
Just Say Yes
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
Today, after constantly checking my email for a week, I finally got a letter saying that I was accepted to take a test for a job position. The only problem is I was scheduled to test today, eight hours ago. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML
Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML
Top comments
fonkimonki 7
If only you had some way of communicating with these places at a distance. I suggest you use... hang on, my phone is ringing, brb
doemetoch 28
If for some reason your job needs you to do a drug test, shouldn't they at least be able to give you up to date information on where to get one, and then preferably pay the expenses? Or is that not how this whole drug testing-thing works? So weird that they even ask for such a thing.
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Comments (27)
PepaSpray54 2
if it is worth the pay, why ye bab1tchhabing?
Colon_Man 17
Uh-oh! Someone get me a drug testing kit, stat!
babs22291 15
Where my hubby and I work, they have a full on medical center/ laboratory to do drug testing.
htownpostman 16
Your wording makes it sound like you're worried about passing.. Maybe (other that that ka-raaaazy idea of using a phone.. Lol) you say "so they can tell me I'm clean"