Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, I discovered I don’t even have the dexterity to screw the cap back onto a bottle of soda without dropping it. Not only that, but mother saw the need to point it out and laugh at me, so people around us in the store stared. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML
Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML
Today, I spent my lunch break trying to open a jar of pickles that had been stuck for weeks. I finally gave up and asked a coworker for help. He tapped the lid once with a spoon and it opened immediately. I'd been fighting a pickle jar every day for a month. FML
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Top comments
ari330 21
It IS supposed to go on the top op
Callyn 47
There are two types of can opener, one which opens from the top and one which opens from the side. You must have only bought the side-opening style, even while using it wrong. They look very similar, but the blade angles are different. Opening from the top is much safer. You can toss the lid right away and not have any sharp angles to cut yourself on. Opening from the side leaves you with a lot of sharp parts to cut your wrist or finger.
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Comments (14)
BurnInDemonFire 39
How has no one corrected you before now? Did you never see anyone else use one, or have anyone with you to point out that you were using it wrong? And if you have been alone since you first tried to use one, why didn't you see if you could find a video of someone using one on YouTube?
EmDizzle2007 28
This isn't an FML. the majority of people put the blade on the top. that's why specific openers were designed to be sold as openers that open without the sharp edge.
ari330 21
It IS supposed to go on the top op
Yudith 28
Not with a Beaver can opener. Those are placed on top of the can, so the blades go on the side, as in they are mostly horizontal when you use it.
RichardPencil 32
Did you even wonder why your wife’s farts never make a sound and she never got pregnant?
Cadaver Muhib 6
I wonder what's your IQ is!
sexymomo1234 20
So many things wrong’s is that sentence! (Intentional grammar errors)
Callyn 47
There are two types of can opener, one which opens from the top and one which opens from the side. You must have only bought the side-opening style, even while using it wrong. They look very similar, but the blade angles are different. Opening from the top is much safer. You can toss the lid right away and not have any sharp angles to cut yourself on. Opening from the side leaves you with a lot of sharp parts to cut your wrist or finger.
prncsjnlca 10
I always buy the top ones for safety as well but recently we have had nothing but crap luck with can openers. Won’t work. Finally went and bought the oldest school model i could find like i grew up with and life is better.
slapstick1982 22
Uncanny
jriley4u 17
It’s not all can openers. Just cheap can openers. Spend more than $5 and you’ll get a decent one.
0neiros 14
Totally, Go to Amazon and look up "Swing-A-Way Easy-Crank Can Opener" for about $13.50 USD this one is a beast that will serve you well for many years...oh and the cutting blade goes in THE TOP.
2shack 7
They actually vary. Some go on top, some go on the side.
dasin 18
never have i ever cut from the side and i have never had a problem opening a can......… i have used non cutting and cutting openers manually and electric so im going to assume the side cutting ones are special since the side of a can has more metal then the top thus making it seem unreasonable to cut from the side