Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML
Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, while I took a short nap, my husband thought it would be a good idea to give our 9 month-old a shake with a whole milk base, despite being told several times he can’t digest it. Later, while we were out and about, he threw up. I rode home in the backseat with the baby, covered in it. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
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Top comments
DrafteeSelf 24
Better that than having him puke on you and his brand new super cute outfit
Rykers 18
Now that's commitment.
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Comments (50)
ElDiabloVerde 4
That's a patenting win!! Idid this with my 8 year, on a putt-putt course, but with a bloody nose. I walked with her to the restroom, with my hands under her face. The blood was everywhere, but not on her dress!
rockydify 22
You chose to breed.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
So many unanswered questions here. First, couldn't you just wash the new outfit later? Even if it's new, it would get dirty eventually. Second, where were you that you had to hold puke in your hand and had nowhere to dump it or wash your hands? Like, where did you change your kid's clothes that there was no sink or anything present? Even changing tables in public bathrooms have sinks.
KrystalKruspe 4
There's so many levels of facepalm to this. Firstly, he's six months old. He has no need to be "super cute", just clothed. You wasted your time and probably money. Secondly, your FIRST thought was to CATCH THE VOMIT. What. Why? He's six months old! Grab the child and turn it face down towards the ground and hold it away from your body.