Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
Today, I warned my new boyfriend not to approach my ferret, as he is still quite young and bites when he plays. He ignored me completely because “animals love him”, and when my ferret latched onto his finger, he threw him across the room. Now I can’t find him anywhere in the house. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML
Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, I rushed to a job interview, but my cat rubbed against me, covering my suit in fur. I grabbed a lint roller, tripped over the cat, and knocked out a front tooth. I showed up sweaty, disheveled, and missing a tooth. I didn’t get the job. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
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Top comments
Mama_Umbridge 8
With your fancy new ferret earring?
yahoowizard 16
That's one way to shoplift
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Comments (89)
Jaxx66 21
Never never let birds or rodents you don't trust passed chest level. That does happen. I'm sorry you weren't warned OP :(
loserman67 36
So when do you start? Word of advice, stay away from the pit bulls!
Yashichu 3
But pittbulls are the biggest babies ever in the pet shop I work in. Wants a cookie and slobber all over you.
fantasyworld 39
Pitbulls are big babies. They want to cuddle and lick you.
jaredofmo 22
Just be glad it wasn't Sredni Vashtar.
Saritazz 0
That sucks!!! Oh well they might still call u. Ud be suprised!!
AugustBurnsToast 14
That was just the the ferrets way of saying that he/she loves you and wants to be with you forever. :)
OffToTheGayBar 9
Oddly enough, that's how I do it too.
william21912 2
Well if you would've known better, ferrets always lick something before biting it
cyK0tek 0
Lol xD That's awesome....I want a ferret but one thing that's almost always brought up is that they smell bad. Is this true??
skyeyez9 25
Yes. They have a strong musky odor. Even after baths they smell.
asherah14 7
The less you bathe, them the less they stink. The better the quality of food, the less they stink. Keep the litter box and bedding clean and the smell is minimal. They do have a musky smell but it's not very strong. I had a few sets of towels of blankets for them to sleep on and I washed them once a week. As long as I washed the bedding weekly, the ferrets didn't stink.
skyeyez9 25
I remember when I reached down to pet a ferret in the pet store, one ran up my jacket sleeve and another ran up on the outside of my coat and into my hair behind my neck.
mgladin 0
Where is the "You're an idiot" button?
cybermolly10 7
Working at a pet store is the worst job ever. Find one where you don't have to clean up poop every hour of every day.