Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, after agreeing to hang out with my husband and his alcoholic mother after his father’s suicide, my mother-in-law found out that my sister-in-law and I playfully insult each other. She lost her mind and practically bit my head off, relapsed, and blamed my “disrespecting her daughter” on said relapse. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I spent all day preparing an amazing meal for my extended family, and then 3 hours before dinner his crazy mother forced him home because she felt "excluded". He's spent the past 3 days with her. There's no way for me to keep him and get rid of her. FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, my mom tried to worm her way back into my life by manipulating my brother into doing the dirty work for her. I pretended to swallow the bullshit and invited her over, just so I could slam the door in her face. My brother says I went too far, like he somehow forgot what a shit mom she was. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, I got married and my mom refused to be there because my dad, whose guts she hates, was there even though I promised repeatedly that I would keep them apart. I couldn't do the mother-son dance. She keeps insisting that it was a "lapse in judgment." Yeah, like we're really going to be able to have a do-over. FML
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Top comments
sweetxxsongbird 11
What an absolute cow.
ICastillo 25
Dang your mother is an ass. That's disgusting as hell. Or maybe it's a family recipe and she has been doing it for years you just didn't know....
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Comments (125)
iTag_Skorn 4
Din din is ready here's a extra something. Don't worry is guacamole.
StarWolf111 21
You should learn how to type proper English.
citymayer 7
Maybe they don't fully know proper English?
doodlecloud 27
I was more concerned that 12 thought loogie is remotely like guacamole...
daisygal77 3
I know exactly how that feels! My mother hates my guy and my guy's mother hates me.
fenixtorador1 11
Just leave silently without a word, she doesn't deserve a response after her blatant disrespect.
jmayes414 5
This is exactly what I would have done. She may be her mother, but she sure doesn't seem like a mom.
fenixtorador1 11
My thoughts exactly 34
tsim14 4
I would just leave and say "no more chances."
geekpower_fml 28
"Wow, this tastes amazing! What's your secret ingredient?"
ICastillo 25
At least your Husband gave her another chance to bad your mom is dumb and has no respect.
maddygirl820 10
That's just disrespectful on her part
anythingmustbe 18
Mmmm You love it! You want it! Coming to stores near you MaMa's Extra tasty and moist Loogie flavored sauce. Now with 25% extra spit!
Axipiter 24
No.
yousuck44 11
I don't know why this has got thumbed down I thought it was funny.
KY_Jelly 10
You're lucky to have a man who was willing to forgive her. Tell her what you think, and then if she can't work on it, then don't bother with her anymore.
kittenvks 11
You know, I really can't help but notice just how well your profile pic and name go together. :)
99megster 15
I feel ashamed to be from British Columbia now... That is just downright evil
ClassyCommando 13
It's alright, they're probably Surrey folk. They aren't like us.