Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, after agreeing to hang out with my husband and his alcoholic mother after his father’s suicide, my mother-in-law found out that my sister-in-law and I playfully insult each other. She lost her mind and practically bit my head off, relapsed, and blamed my “disrespecting her daughter” on said relapse. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I spent all day preparing an amazing meal for my extended family, and then 3 hours before dinner his crazy mother forced him home because she felt "excluded". He's spent the past 3 days with her. There's no way for me to keep him and get rid of her. FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, my mom tried to worm her way back into my life by manipulating my brother into doing the dirty work for her. I pretended to swallow the bullshit and invited her over, just so I could slam the door in her face. My brother says I went too far, like he somehow forgot what a shit mom she was. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, I got married and my mom refused to be there because my dad, whose guts she hates, was there even though I promised repeatedly that I would keep them apart. I couldn't do the mother-son dance. She keeps insisting that it was a "lapse in judgment." Yeah, like we're really going to be able to have a do-over. FML
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Top comments
sweetxxsongbird 11
What an absolute cow.
ICastillo 25
Dang your mother is an ass. That's disgusting as hell. Or maybe it's a family recipe and she has been doing it for years you just didn't know....
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Comments (125)
olpally 33
What a ****... Sorry in advance if that word offends anyone. She really is one. Sheesh.
ClassyCommando 13
How exactly would it offend someone if you're calling someone else a ****? "Excuse me, but as a lifelong **** I find it incredibly insulting that you would associate someone as repulsive as the OP's mother with my people."
ICastillo 25
#81 he is just saying that because some people on here get offended easily and will tell him stuff. No offense to those people though.
olpally 33
Because that word is usually frowned upon when describing someone like that, especially over the Internet. It's called having common courtesy when you insult someone the way I did. It's more respectful than saying:: "what a ******* ****" and not saying anything else. I showed remorse because I know that word rubs people the wrong way usually. That's why I apologized for saying that word.
hellproof023 6
Maybe she wanted the grand kids to be a spitting image? Sorry all I had lol
gracehi 33
I hope you one upped her and spit in her eye!
panda_lou 11
I'm curious as to why she hates your husband. Is it because of something petty? Does he treat you bad? Has he treated her bad in the past? The reasoning affects my response.
gracehi 33
Considering that it seems OP's mother invited her and the husband over just to spit in their food, I think it's a safe bet this poor excuse for a mother is a petty bitch.
DocBastard 40
Your mother is a sneaky little twat. She obviously invited you two over to exact her revenge, and you fell for it. You spent the last 4 years avoiding her - continue the trend for the next 40.
ClassyCommando 13
And when she's gone you can spit on her grave. Or something like that.
butterflyz1961 2
I'd like to know the details of what happened afterwards.
Mindwarp 4
Time to be the adult in the situation; one of two people can and clearly it's not mummy dearest.
lyflycat9297 4
Sit her down and have a big talk with her. She shouldn't be acting so rude to you guys!
FadeIntoLucy 12
Your mother is wretched piece of humanity. I would erase from my life if I were in your shoes. just because she spawned you doesn't mean she still needs to be in your life. :( Sorry OP
cristy91 33
Try and arrange something with your mom and husband so you can really get to the bottom and resolve all issues. Just take caution to have everything bolted down and some body guards just in case