Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
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Top comments
stfuminjakid 0
Tell her it was love vomit.
RixXion 0
People that use improper spelling are idiots
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Comments (98)
spoo 24
not the end of the world... Ive seen many long term relationships start off on a rough footing such as this
plexico 4
Throwing up is not an automatic dealbreaker, especially if the girl has liked you for a long time. Have a sense of humor and show up at her door with a shoe shine kit and clean the shoes you spewed on. This could work out well for you. If you are too ashamed to look at her because of this, your life will be an eternal FML! Man up and fix it.
minette08 0
you're like stan from south park
plexico 4
#33 "footing?" Good one. ;)
kitties_fml 12
Stan?
applecake 0
kinky
poolshark 0
At least she didn't lean in for a kiss right after telling you how she felt... "Hi Stan......eewwwww".
AgentGreenEyes 4
it'll make a good story... if she's a cool girl she'll forgive you...my current boyefriend of almost 1 year accidentally fractured my elbow while we were trying to throw each other in a snowbank...he missed... I started dating him soon after....atleast yours didnt have any hospital and physical therapy bills :) GOOD LUCK!
666midnight 0
LOL glad I wasn't the only one thinking of south park :D
beebeeL 1
ouchh , wow yea looks like YU wont get a 2nd date , lmao . & lol #1