Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

Accidents will happen

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

Make it stop!

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

Self report

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

Are you OK?

Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML