Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
New hire
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
Be quiet
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Give me a break!!
Today, in an effort to avoid having the same break as my annoying coworker, I went a little earlier than I usually do. Guess who got moved to a position with an early break? She sat next to me. FML
Freak
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
Productivity Queen
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
Freaked out
Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML
Meritocracy
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
Fanny flutters
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Yadda yadda yadda
Today, our desks were rearranged. I was seated next to a coworker who spends the entire day on the phone, chatting loudly with his relatives in another country while he works. I complained that it was distracting. Management won't do anything about it and warned me that "my complaints reek of racism." FML
Top comments
nix1993 41
It might not be the most hospitable route, but you need to report her first. Especially that she's threatening to report you for nothing. If she reports you for harassment, anything you say in response will just look like you're making up excuses, unless your boss was informed beforehand.
iJacrispy 19
Talk to your boss
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Comments (106)
grumblebum 16
I do feel for you, definitely let someone know about the harassment threat. Need to get it out there. Had something similar happen to me at work, I had the feeling that a co-worker was going to report me for stealing, co-worker didn't like me due to the fact that I was given a job that she expected. I mentioned it to my boss, who had a small go at me, I just said to her that maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it seeing it was only a feeling. 2 weeks later, my boss calls me in and tells me that she caught the woman opening items to use personally and that she had reported me for stealing in an effort to get out of trouble. Luckily my bosses were able to reassure their boss that I was honest.
LOLouis_fml 24
Thanks for commenting! Do you still work that job?
LOLouis_fml 24
Hi, OP here! Firstly, wow, my first published FML! Secondly, I spoke with my boss after work this evening, he hired her because she seemed bubbly and friendly in the interview (which is important for where I work), but he has now realised how she really is. She's leaving at the end of this week, lol. Thanks to all who read and commented, have a good day!
FFDP 5
This is why I wish we could punch people in the face....
onlyFuge17 17
Put cameras to show that you're not guilty
NickThunder 12
It's your responsibility to keep the workplace safe and efficient... Bring the matter up to your boss
pandalover69 26
Record and or film her and show it to your boss or HR.
PandaLord 15
Record her when she theatens to report you again and show it to your boss.
PizzaElHutt 7
Dumb ass bitch.
DestinyNiya 33
Maybe you could record her shitty behavior secretly somehow? That way you have an alibi.
truble1103 10
Document everything and then make your case to HR. People like that are horrid members of society and I blame the parents.