Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid having the same break as my annoying coworker, I went a little earlier than I usually do. Guess who got moved to a position with an early break? She sat next to me. FML
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, our desks were rearranged. I was seated next to a coworker who spends the entire day on the phone, chatting loudly with his relatives in another country while he works. I complained that it was distracting. Management won't do anything about it and warned me that "my complaints reek of racism." FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
It might not be the most hospitable route, but you need to report her first. Especially that she's threatening to report you for nothing. If she reports you for harassment, anything you say in response will just look like you're making up excuses, unless your boss was informed beforehand.
iJacrispy 19
Talk to your boss
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Comments (106)
flopstar 21
Try to tell your boss or & if that won't work make the best of it. Even try to make a conversation with her. She might be more pleasant than she seems but sorry op.
Jakk100 20
I fail to see how she could be any MORE pleasant, she sounds like an absolute dream to work with!
flopstar 21
I'm just saying if she's like that & she's there to stay, he can still try to make some connection with her. Which can make his work more pleasant for him.
Nailpolishaholic 20
Dude, she can be 'more' pleasant only if she's already pleasant, and the FML clearly implies that she's not.
flopstar 21
"Dude." I know they obviously don't like each other but if she's there to stay might as well attempt to make it better between the two of them. Wouldn't you?
Ms_ValS 27
Honestly I have to agree with Jak here. There's no silver lining to this dream girl. She almost seems to go out of her way to annoy people with her loud gum chewing and chair bashing and even has the cheek to threaten them if they ask her to stop being such a nuisance. It's bad enough that she's pretty much useless, she's actually a hindrance. Hopefully she will fail at a task soon and your boss will see her for who she truly is. Better find out that she's not a relative of management or something cuz if so, she might be in it for the long haul.
iJacrispy 19
Talk to your boss
fuckedPriceless 17
Agreed...seems like the obvious answer. Perhaps OP has already though. FML isn't exactly known for their timeliness of posting after a story was submitted.
MortenM 17
It's Cyprus. It might not be a good idea to talk to the boss since it could be an appointment of family or friend
blostrich_ 19
That's parenting gone wrong for her.
DrRO93 14
It has nothing to do with parenting. You can have the best parents on earth that do everything right and still end up being a bitch.
Kitty_Kat44 31
Well report her for being a rude co-worker.
laden_swallow09 35
The phrase you're looking for is "creating a hostile work environment."
Meepson 9
Why I need meninism /s
EatUrGreens 20
What?
sonasonic 34
#6, I would think what you're referring to would be masculism . *facepalm* And what if OP was female? Your point would be invalid.
deathstar3548 14
Nah meninism is a satire against those crazy "feminazis" everyone talks about
niallo 23
I don't know how long you've worked there, but she's the new employee. Talk to your boss so the first complaint is yours. He should believe you anyway, but why take the chance.
ASeeR 14
she must know someone to defend her back in the company
worldclassrager 41
Can you possibly have a different place to work? But I think if she keeps reporting you for nothing you will not have much to worry about...maybe they will move her to a different spot...time will tell...
nix1993 41
It might not be the most hospitable route, but you need to report her first. Especially that she's threatening to report you for nothing. If she reports you for harassment, anything you say in response will just look like you're making up excuses, unless your boss was informed beforehand.
eightbithero 12
THIS RIGHT HERE! Is the horrible truth of sexual discrimination! A woman can say anything she wants to, and the justice system will give her the benefit of the doubt 9 times out of 10.
jmigs17 19
Exactly 30! Well, she's gunna report you anyways OP. LET THE HARASSING BEGIN!... Jk don't do that.
Steve95401 49
Your co-workers incompetence will get exposed soon enough and she won't be there for long.
Ilmoran 20
Sadly, that's not always how it works.