Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid having the same break as my annoying coworker, I went a little earlier than I usually do. Guess who got moved to a position with an early break? She sat next to me. FML
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, our desks were rearranged. I was seated next to a coworker who spends the entire day on the phone, chatting loudly with his relatives in another country while he works. I complained that it was distracting. Management won't do anything about it and warned me that "my complaints reek of racism." FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
It might not be the most hospitable route, but you need to report her first. Especially that she's threatening to report you for nothing. If she reports you for harassment, anything you say in response will just look like you're making up excuses, unless your boss was informed beforehand.
iJacrispy 19
Talk to your boss
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Comments (106)
1dvos_grl3 21
Did she happen to be drunk at a work party?
bnbhimp 10
I see what you did there
potatopolice1025 18
But is she hot?
VeganDarkLight 31
Chewing gum loudly is everything but hot! And even if she was good looking at first sight, her personality makes her ugly.
piemanfood 19
Tell her to what are your bosses going to think of her when she reports you for something stupid like that
ToxicTyrael 26
Truth is that many women are sexually harassed at their workplace so the boss might believe her! He has to record her threatening him with the report and report her behavior beforehand.
ToxicTyrael 26
At my workplace my female coworker disliked me because I turned her down multible times. So she used a ***** violently on herself and a good friend of her hit her so she could say I raped her. Luckily I was with my boss at the time she claimed to be raped but if not I might be in jail just because I didn't go out with her.
meli1195 31
that is a story i definitely was not expecting to read at 1:30 a. m. hard to believe people like that actually exist.
Bragi 12
71 - Many more than you would imagine.
earthlyscum 19
You could always annoy her.. Chew Your gum loudly and hit the back of Her chair.
OysterPearls 33
Because fighting fire with fire always solves the problem, right?
Im2Shy 16
If you're company allows cell phones inside, start voice recording a few incidents and play them to your boss as evidence when you file your complaint. Good luck OP.
StrayCatXIII 7
report her ass first.
MsPurity101 7
Two words!! Hidden camera!!
BKroell 3
H
BKroell 3
"Hey boss, I promise I'm telling the truth, here's some video evidence from the hidden camera that I set up on our new hot co-worker". I see that causing other problems.
[email protected] 14
Ah and this is why I don't like women why my age never mature.
wdfkevin 11
Dude this is simple, but her a Starbucks coffee and slip some laxatives into it and apologize for starting off on the wrong foot she'll drink it with no problem and once it kicks in she'll be in the bathroom all day and you'll be enjoying the peace reading through fml's and who knows you might run into her post of how she spent all day in the bathroom ******** at work
orsombre_fml 11
It is a crime to do such a thing.
laden_swallow09 35
Holy run-on sentences, Batman!
wdfkevin 11
Naaaaah I've done it before
Attacksloth 33
Either she's a really good bullshit artist in interviews and resumes, or I have no clue why your boss hired her unless it was a familial connection or for the sake of eye candy.