Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML
Today, I was having a deep conversation with a woman at a bus stop about philosophy. Little did I know, her boyfriend was rummaging through my purse while she kept my focus. I’m a PhD candidate in philosophy, and it was the best conversation I’d had it months. FML
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML
Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML
Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML
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Top comments
Absoluezer0 12
Even druggies get enlightenment.
tacojauns 45
For some reason "ran off into the night" cracked me up. It just makes it seem that it was a mythic creature that you're not sure if you really saw or not
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Comments (95)
tvwrestler98 14
no it shouldn't be fml. it should be wtf or instead
Crusoe_fml 4
That was the wisest man you will ever meet ^^
sugoine 12
This rules!!
Sh3lbs 6
He was still a nice guy and provided you with stimulating conversation, who cares that he was on shrooms ?
alex101676 8
why does it matter if the dude was on mushrooms. if you enjoyed the conversation who cares.
Thorvald22 17
I see nothing wrong with this scenario. He was on mushrooms, and thusly very full of emotion. Just because he was sincere doesn't mean he was incoherent... You deserve it, because you deserve love
weedandfood 8
Dopeeee
MooCowPlywood 9
That sounds awesome!
zyymurgy 5
Why else have some of the greatest scientific minds of the modern generation used psychoactive drugs? Sometimes it freaks you out, but other times it opens doorways in our minds. Hell, Francis Crick, one of the men who discovered DNA, did acid. As well as Steve Jobs, for crying out loud! Jobs said experimenting with LSD was one of the most important events of his life. As well as Bill Gates, and the inventor of the Sensory Deprivation Tank, and many, many other big names, and most likely a great deal of small names too. I'm guessing the guy you talked to was just another smaller mind waiting for its break to make it big. A personal anecdote? Why sure! When I took mushrooms on the beach, I came up with one of my all time favorite fictional/original characters of mine. That was years ago, and they're still with me today as I write.
Shade1982 21
Are you Jeff Dunham? Because that is probably how he came up with the character for Peanut....
moneyoverall 3
he's the man!