Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML
Today, I was having a deep conversation with a woman at a bus stop about philosophy. Little did I know, her boyfriend was rummaging through my purse while she kept my focus. I’m a PhD candidate in philosophy, and it was the best conversation I’d had it months. FML
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML
Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML
Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML
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Top comments
Absoluezer0 12
Even druggies get enlightenment.
tacojauns 45
For some reason "ran off into the night" cracked me up. It just makes it seem that it was a mythic creature that you're not sure if you really saw or not
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Comments (95)
Absoluezer0 12
Even druggies get enlightenment.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Mushrooms aren't "drugs", and they bring on more enlightenment then you could ever imagine. That stuff changes lives, it's a quite magical experience. I've never heard of someone who turned into a "druggie" by partaking in a mushroom trip. It's not like they turn into a dirty fiend.
TheCowCollector 2
They are drugs but not all drugs are bad.
eyedea84 5
drug: is defined as anything that alters physical or chemical functions of the body. so the chemical psilocybin, which alters the chemical balance of the brain from operating in a normal function, would make it a drug. if caffeine and asprin are drugs, so are freaking shrooms.
Zebediabolical 45
By that definition sugar is a drug. So I guess we're pretty much all druggies.
Rainhawk94 27
Is mayonnaise in an instrument though
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I didn't mean drugs by definition, I meant drugs by association. Street substances like crack cocaine and heroin are what people associate the word "drug" with, not medicine. But yes, by definition they are, you are correct. Now druggies, who the **** uses that word anyway!? You have your fiends, you have your recreational(non-habitual) users, and you have the village people(no offense). Just because someone wanted to perceive the world in an entirely new light does not make them scum bags.
SThompson90 7
I use the word druggies
eyedea84 5
@52 ahhhh ok I get your point.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
I don't see why this is an FML, you shouldn't throw out that whole conversation just because he was trippin'.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
It saddens me your comment was moderated, 61..
dlowry004 14
Well put #52 on both of your comments!!
cracchiolo 16
#1 mushrooms are a drug I know, but I don't think they should e classed as a drug. Makes you see and think about everything in a diffrent way. It'll take a dull mind and make it bright! This isn't a FML you enjoyed the convo, who cares if he was tripping?? YDI for being closed minded
HKCgrimmjow 15
I'm sorry but I have to share... I tried mushrooms once... I tried texting and my hand got sucked in my phone and I swear I couldn't get it out. That wasn't enlightenment for me that was pure horror!
SiraSiemens 21
the only person asking the real question here!!
preston55 7
Maybe if we abuse sugar.
whatafuckup 14
You interpreted the conversation the way you like as long as it gave you something to think about it is enough isn't it!
ChenEighty 20
Your username accurately describes your comment.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
7, the saddest part about this is that this is literally the fourth time I've seen a person make that exact comment about this guy's username. So this guy regularly makes terrible comments.
wcc7777777 5
It makes sense, it just needs punctuation.
gc327072 31
15- Sadly this is like the fourth time I've seen you contribute nothing more than nagging other commenters, in the vain pursuit of attention. Perhaps your name should be SHAMUS_THE_SHITHEAD Y'know, that /does/ have a nice ring to it.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I agree, it was a solid comment with weak punctuation. The comment itself was a good one!
petitechou_fml 9
That's awesome! Not FML. :)
mpj13 8
Well you obviously have to sue him.
Nilorak 24
Yes that's obviously what OP should do.
tehman117 21
Yes he absolutely FORCED op to have a pleasant conversation.
hashshim 23
4 was very obviously being sarcastic
phatdaddy62 23
I hope you meant ex guy at a bus stop!
ChenEighty 20
Hey, his mind was creative while he was on them. Welcome to the world of artists and musicians alike. Don't doubt dem shrooms.
sarah6786 14
Shrooms help you find your inner self!
ApologyKick 25
I hope you learned something from this conversation, chiefly that hallucinogens are bad.
iAlissa 34
Didn't sound like he said anything bad, given as OP said she enjoyed it.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
That's a pretty damn stupid thing to say. He was just talking haha. He wasn't running around naked with a butcher knife, he was having a genuine conversation. I know, I know, talking to people nowadays is one helluva bad thing and we all should stick to Facebook posts and twitter. Shame on you, thought provoking man, shame on you. I seriously hope you were being sarcastic, but I doubt it.
tacojauns 45
For some reason "ran off into the night" cracked me up. It just makes it seem that it was a mythic creature that you're not sure if you really saw or not
HeadlessSparrow 20
Plot twist: OP was actually on shrooms and imagining this
TrueTriage 16
The idea of this being a complete illusion makes it seem way better. Did this man happen to have animalistic features? Horse head.... Wings...
ChenEighty 20
10, finally, a plot twist on FML that didn't ruin something.
Ghost308 11
Well he may or may not have had a clear picture of life at that moment!!
kenyalovesarah 11
Im not sure why this is an 'fml'. it's not like he harmed you in any way. sounds more like a funny story to tell your friends. Good imagery at the end there too.
HeadlessSparrow 20
All it matters is that you were enjoying the conversation...