Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML
Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
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Top comments
mpsteve137 15
Well let's just hope he doesn't forget to floss after
stephissilly 18
get a giant rubber and start erasing him.
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Comments (141)
kidrauhlsimpson 8
One of the funniest things I've read in a while
TheChelseaSays 34
Oh yeah because cars get cavities all the time right? What is wrong with people!?
guskta 17
I bet he shops at Walmart
sbarua219 17
That's actually pretty funny