Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML
Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, a girl on my Snapchat list posted a story asking for anybody who was awake to talk to her. Me being awake, I took her up on the request. Her response? "Sorry I didn't mean you." FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I sent a text to the girl I like, asking if she wanted to "hang out." Autocorrect changed it to "hand out," and she responded by asking what I was handing out. I panicked and replied, "My love." Now she thinks I'm a weirdo. FML
Today, I turned down an invite to a huge private party that is rarely given to freshmen in college, because I felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in a couple of days. I called her a couple of hours later. She answered with, "Hey, I'm at a party. I will call you tomorrow?" FML
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Top comments
christopherlove 0
[quote]I'm a ******* idiot.[/quote] Nope, you're just an idiot.
Bee123_fml 0
are you serious? honestly u deserved that one.....you lost a chance to get laid man.
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Comments (48)
sammy6597 0
Yes, yes you are.
fukinhilarius 0
EPIC FAIL!!!
AmberBerry 0
lmao
Courtyen 3
Oh well, you should have gone, you didn't, you didn't get some. You'll have other chances (maybe not as easy, but still).
ipwnnoobz 0
^^^. this looks like spam .^^^
CardboardPoker 0
She wasn't "too tired". Another guy answered her booty call and got there first. She got what she wanted, and had the presence of mind to cancel her order for your d*ck. : ) Sucks to be you, but you probably didn't really want THAT anyway.
superboboboi 0
nomnomnom?
ASA5G 2
wow. lets see a girl just invited me to her dorm and its three o' clock. since im up i might as well check my email get it out of the way. whoa... email should not even cross your mind when that shit happens.
ilaaFML 0
lolfail. i'm a thirteen year old and i know better. i'd say better luck next time, but i don't think there'll be one.
Poepiepiesie 3
At least you are a man of principles. Yet those rarely get you laid.