Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, at work, a customer asked where the shovels were. I tried to ask him if he was looking for snow shovels or regular shovels. It came out, "Are you looking for show snovels?" He then awkwardly said he was looking for snow shovels. FML
Today, a customer opened with, "You open bottles with them thangs?" I looked around my desk for something he might've confused with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informed me that he was talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML
Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML
Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered, "Goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML
Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
turdoblast 21
lmao oh unintended puns. you should've continued on and said "I was just offering because I didn't want you to have to hold your bits in your hands," just to really seal the deal
Nymeria_fml 25
So I guess he doesn't want you to cum onto him either.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (35)
ostfaiz 18
hahaa..awkward moment when you say something and the concept toss up :)
dragonkisses28 25
Some places, like England, say "bits" when talking about their nether regions. A bag for your bits. The customer thought OP was referring to his penis. Sorry, I responded under the wrong comment.
bearstyle22 11
woulda worked on me
blindkid1790 12
I'd offer another place he can store them if he was being rude!
spatula232 25
He's obviously got a few screws loose
joe3_fml 15
Stop cuming on people. It makes them very uncomfortable.
MeanBeagle 22
gonna offer a hand to bag his bits?
jeanyrios 10
Twisted
Attacksloth 33
Would have been funny if when he goes to pay with a card you're like "babe, just stick it in the hole."
worldclassrager 41
At times it's just better just to put them in a bag and they will say if they need one or not
djstiv3 15
next time... just say "need a bag" simple and neutral. sheesh