Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted, "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML
Today, I pet my neighbour's two cats. They were at opposite ends of the same room, so I could only pet one at a time. When I pet one, the other one felt lonely and cried for me. I felt sorry for her. Cutest FML ever. FML
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML
Today, while I was in bed, my cat licked my nipple. It turned me on. FML
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Tarak_fml 7
Epicly awesome
Bloodknight 22
OMG! I DIED when I read this, bwahaha! Thank you for the laugh!
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Comments (123)
buddyweiser 0
HAHAHA I'm sorry but this just made my day rofl.. gotta love old people and their indecency for anything
CurtisDkidd 0
old man FTW!
Samyy27 0
Bahahaha. (:
uhmayzing 0
he was politely inorming you that the kitty you happened to be petting was nice, and he would pet it to. jerk.
mylifefreakinsux 0
OK, I'm genuinely curious here: Are you being sarcastic? Because if you're not, I just wanna say, he wasn't talking about the cat.
rp23 0
what a playa
whatstehtimemrwo 0
The one thing ive lernt from fml is that old people are dirty and with their old age they can do anything
rozieslothinator 0
sassy!
elle727 0
hahahahahaha! awesome!
alexisbabby 7
perrrrrv.
katsteak 0
Smh. Wts