Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted, "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML
Today, I pet my neighbour's two cats. They were at opposite ends of the same room, so I could only pet one at a time. When I pet one, the other one felt lonely and cried for me. I felt sorry for her. Cutest FML ever. FML
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML
Today, while I was in bed, my cat licked my nipple. It turned me on. FML
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Tarak_fml 7
Epicly awesome
Bloodknight 22
OMG! I DIED when I read this, bwahaha! Thank you for the laugh!
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Comments (123)
Oven_fml 0
smooth move by him. lol jk. that's kinda nasty
soffikkira 0
that's a freakin epic FML FYL
Cloudbush 0
You're a bad person and you should feel bad.
davids123 0
lol i want to met that guy and shake his hand haa
Danceswithsmurfs 0
that sounds like something my grandpa would say (that is he would if I could talk to him) apparently my parents think that some of the coments heade to the female cashier at the supermarket were too racy for me
delfoxio 0
you know, he's probably been waiting his whole life to say that to someone. you just gave him the time of his life. feel happy! :)
omgmorganomg 0
bwhaahahahahah that's funny
BabyC_2011 1
ahahahahahah thats so funny
stewie117 0
that's funny
Americunt 0
OMG PUSSY. I LIKE A LONG HAIRED THICK REDBONE OPEN UP HER LEGGSS GON' GET ME ON HER PUSSY
mustang91 0
lmfai