Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML
Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML
Today, I watched a grizzled old gas station attendant, with a stain on her blouse, use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML
Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year-old man, covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML
Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML
Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML
Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the guy I've liked for a long time. He's a cashier at a grocery store. It was about 1am and I was his last customer, everything seemed just right. Just when I was about to ask him to the movies, a drunk girl stumbles in and asks him out. He said yes. FML
Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
Ditch him he cant take back the gas
muhaidib 2
Ahh, that's how hookers start
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (143)
insanelyXnikki 18
When it comes time for the date just make up a legit excuse as to why you can't go. Meanwhile, go look for a job... lol
Franklin24 3
Whoa that's low really low
kei1108 13
I think I would have done it... If I was over 18... Haha! But i'd make him sign a contract that said that once i have dinner with him, then i would get a card that said free gas, and I would show it every time I bought gas. ... I've thought this out too much... But it would work!
missghs09 0
Tricking for gas...smdh
rick10255 3
I didn't know gas was THAT expensive...
dansco 25
What else will you trade? A McDonalds for what? Lol
Crystal55621 19
"Alright everybody, you are all-...what's that word?"
Crystal55621 19
Aaaaahhhhh!!! Wrong FML!
dominicanoo168 0
That crazy
Elendil_fml 10
Shit, I got $20 for you if you'll show me your boobs. $50 if I can play with them for 2 minutes.
wordbigbird 0
Fill the tank, fill your tummy, fill your fingers, get a headache and peace....that never happend to me...